Always tweaking something!

T minus 11 days & counting

Day 2515

Yep! Only 11 days till Eric & Kelly officially tie the knot. I think all our deliverables are in place:

Rehearsal dinner reservations made & menu selected.
Tux rented (I know, I know, pictures.)
Dress selected & altered.
Hotel reservations made, because the parents of the bride and/or groom should NOT be driving for a minimum of 18 hours after the pre-reception cocktail hour.

Due to some odd assed logistics, we’ll also have both our vehicles there. The Friday before the festivities, the Best Man (that’d be Zach) wants all the men of the wedding party to gather for the “Bachelor Party”. What are we going to do? Get in a round of golf. They want to start around 9, get in our 18 holes and have time to freshen up before the rehearsal (at like 5??) That’s all well & good, but technically we can’t check in to our hotel until 3pm or so. And Cindy REALLY doesn’t want to spend all day hanging out in Syracuse killing time until the rehearsal starts. So? I’ll head out at 7am-ish, meet the guys at the golf course and Cindy will follow along after lunch.

Now I gotta confess, I kinda screwed up last week. Cindy had mentioned how she wanted to get a ring for our 30th anniversary next month. He even pretty much had the setting & stones al picked out in her mind – a single diamond surrounded by 3 red sapphires (or rubies maybe?). Sort of a replacement for the ring she got from her mom that was stolen on our trip to Mexico in February. When I heard that, I piped up and said “Well maybe I’ll buy myself a new set of irons for our 30th”, which she said, OUT LOUD, sounded like a good idea.

Well dummy me got the idea in my head that I was getting new clubs. I started cruising E-Bay, researched iron sets on-line and sought out opinions from fellow golfers. Pretty much had my mind made up what I wanted to get (Adams Idea A7 irons, 3H, 4H, 5 – PW). Much to my surprise and pleasure, I saw a set on sale at a local sporting goods store. Having done the research, I knew the price was indeed a good deal.

Here’s where I stepped on it. I went to the store, tested out a few of the clubs in the set and bought them on the spot. Impulse buy? Sorta. But I researched the crap out of it, knew a good price when I saw one and jumped on it. My mistake? Not clearing it with Cindy first. She found out through the kids. This past Saturday they said “Hey dad, lets see those new clubs you got” and Cindy replied, “Yeah, dad’s thinking about getting himself a new set for our anniversary” to which I responded, “Already did.”

Do you have any idea how dead I was when I said that?

Now, my commission for being executor of my father-in-law’s estate is sitting in the bank, earning a whopping 0.5% interest. That’s MY money, for me to do with as I please. When Cindy asked how I thought I was going to pay for said clubs I told her I was taking it out of my executor’s commission. (For the record, my commission was over 4 figures, but not so high into 5 figures that it’s going to cause any real damage tax-wise. Especially if I don’t find a job soon . . .)

So getting a good deal on a bargain set of clubs is going to do diddly squat to that account balance. The ring Cindy wants? Probably cost 4 – 5 times what those clubs cost. And she can STILL get the ring because percentage wise that will have less of an effect on what she inherited from her dad.

I need to find a way to apologize. I don’t thin it’s totally a money issue – I think it’s more that I ruined any sense of surprise or any sense that she was ‘giving’ me anything. She’s pissed. I don’t know if she’s right, I was certainly wrong, and I don’t know how to make it better.

I avoided getting into the whole “well, YOU did XXX and then you did YYY . . .” as a way of justifying my own actions. But I’m still bothered that Cindy expects behaviors out of others that she doesn’t always do herself. She also doesn’t treat other people the way she expects to be treated. I don’t know how to fold those points into the current situation – and maybe I shouldn’t. But they need to be resolved. Yes, she thinks I haven’t changed, but I have news for her – neither has she. Al in spite of hundreds if not thousands spent in counseling.

WTF for?

Don’t mind me. I’m jut bummed about the whole job search deal. Age discrimination is illegal, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to me several times a day. Fuckers.

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6 responses

  1. Brenda

    I have the same double standard at my house! He will tell me that I’m doing something wrong but when he does it just the same way, it’s ok! WTF!! I really get you! And you are not old, just seasoned! 😉

    July 12, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    • Brian

      Isn’t that what The Golden Rule is for? I screw up plenty, but I really hate having my feet held to the fire by a person that’s guilty of the same infractions for which I’m being grilled.

      July 13, 2011 at 9:09 am

  2. I don’t care for surprises and I also like to pick my own things. Rings and golf clubs are personal items for the person intending to use them. You did the research, knew what you wanted and what was a good price, so it makes sense to me that it would be best if YOU bought the clubs yourself. My dad had a custom set made for his swing, etc. Mom didn’t care – if he was on the golf course, he was out of her hair! LOL.

    July 13, 2011 at 8:53 am

    • Brian

      ETW – You understand golf clubs Way cool! And yes, rings (jewelry in general) are tough to buy FOR someone. What I like might be nothing like what my wife wants. Same for clubs. She might have gotten something totally inappropriate for me game.

      July 13, 2011 at 9:06 am

  3. G.G AKA Ethel

    Eww. I can see how this got you in hot water and I also get your points about how it is hypocritical. For what its worth I think you are right for avoiding the X & Y convo. It isn’t going to help….. Give a sincere apology and move on.

    Have fun at the wedding!

    July 14, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    • Brian

      Avoided the whole “but you did such & such” thing and just made a solid apology. Crisis averted.

      July 14, 2011 at 7:46 pm

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