In this, Cindy and I agree wholeheartedly. Neither of us buys in to the Valentines Day hype. No chocolates, no flowers, no cards, dinner won’t be anything more than a quick Chicken Piccata (I had to add that to the dictionary? Really?) easily thrown together using pantry staples.
So Valentines Day – Bah Humbug! We refuse to buy overpriced crap just to use it as some measure of how much we love each other. Real love demonstrates itself every day – taking the time to scrape ice off a car, holding doors open, sharing a meal, suffering through yet another made for TV movie on LMN, or hanging on to catch the end of the hockey game. Love can’t be found in a dozen overpriced, medium stemmed roses that are on their last legs the minute you open the box.
Besides, the cabinets are full of vases kept from previous displays of fiscal buffoonery. We’ve agreed that after 30-some years of knowing each other, (We actually started hanging out together in 1975 fer cripes sakes!), Valentines Day tokens were unnecessary. For younger relationships, or YOUR relationship, you just gotta do what ever works for you. Lord knows you don’t need relationship advice from me. Unless you’re looking for a way to torpedo your current situation.
I keep promising to myself that I won’t notice, that I won’t keep track. After all, doing that is really only a futile attempt to control the situation, right? Bah – noticing or being aware of your surroundings isn’t an attempt at control – it’s more like a self preservation tactic.
Lately, I’ve been miserable at not keeping track. It was easier to not notice when the unassisted drinking was happening once a week or less. Lately, that hasn’t been the case. As a matter of fact, these are the dates in the last two weeks when Cindy has gotten to the mush mouth, googly-eyed, waving in the breeze while standing still state – 2/1, 2/5, 2/8, 2/10, 2/11 & 2/13.
2/1 & 2/8 were after a counseling session, while I was at an Al Anon meeting. It’s amazing how much damage can accumulate from 6:30 to 9:30.
2/5 was the Saturday I had the flu. I had one beer & decided that I was too feverish to have another.
2/10 was my last bowling night. I love coming home to find her already drinking/drunk.
2/11 She’d had one of her quart high-balls before I got home. We went out to dinner (a microbrewery no less), each had two beers (one while waiting, one with dinner). Back at home, she downed a couple more. She ‘fell asleep’ on the couch. I let her stay there when I went upstairs to bed.
When she finally came upstairs, she tried to negotiate for room on the bed by elbowing me in the head. After she grabbed her pillows and went stomping off to one of the other rooms, I checked out how much room she had. Not sure what she was complaining about, I was taking up less than half the bed. And yes, I’m a wee bit bigger than she is.
2/13 was last night. She didn’t start up drinking till after Zach & Jill went home. She made up for lost time and was marble eyed before dinner.
What’s that, 6 out of the last 14 days? I’ve had 4 beers in that time.
A week from tomorrow we’re leaving on vacation. We’re going someplace warm to kill off Cindy’s February break week (some vestige of the 70’s energy crisis when schools were shut down for a week to save energy costs during the winter. Now we can’t get rid of the damn thing.) I don’t want to run the risk of ruining vacation by bringing up the miserable control over drinking that Cindy is displaying right now. Instead, I think I’ll wait till after vacation and have a little come to jesus meeting on my own – preferably the day before the first counseling session after vacation. It would be better to really piss her off when we got back, and then let her go running to Janine (the counselor) to vent. Borderline diabolical I say.
Think that’s what’s flavoring my anti-Valentines Day mood lately?
Nah. I’m just a curmudgeon is all.