Always tweaking something!

Just a Quickie

More tomorrow with Linda and the Very Random dozen. But for now, I just had to capture this little oddity.

At work, I often use a date code in file names. Say I have a Bill of Material for a product that is a living document. As the product evolves, I’ll keep track of the Bill of Material (BOM) evolution as well. So in my OCD little system, I’ll have a file name that is Prod xzy BOM yyyymmdd where you might guess that yyyy is the year, mm is the month and dd is the day. Then, when I do an alpha sort of the files, it always sorts files of the same name in date order as well.

Hush – it makes me happy.

What makes today unique is the palindromic nature of today’s date – 20101020. Not bitwise palindromic, more like byte-wise, but again – hush, it makes me happy. (Twenty ten, ten, twenty – get it?)

Also – at 10:10 on 10/10/10 I was standing in line to buy tickets to go see Ft. Sumter. Where were you? That was Sunday before last, just in case you cared.

Had a VERY interesting counseling session last night. If Janine were to pass out gold stars for progress and willingness to change, I might actually have earned one last night. On the other hand, I got to call BS on some stuff Cindy says & does, and Janine backed my play.

Also, by some miracle of fate, the subject of drinking did not come up last night. While I still think Cindy is dancing with the devil in believing she can be a social drinker after what she’s done the last, oohhhh, 25+ years, (especially the last 7), I have finally figured out that I can still plod along at my couple three beers a weekend and leave her be to do what ever the heck she wants. The important part FOR ME is to make sure I don’t get caught up in her coat tails and join her in drinking to excess. It might piss her off, but that is no reflection on me.

The BS I called? Multi-faceted. I’m not going to cover all the aspects of it but my favorite part was this one particular bit. In the past, Cindy has said (in session) that going on vacation with me was like going on vacation with a good friend – there was no passion or romance. So. After the third or fourth vacation of platonicness, I asked Cindy last night how it is that she can complain about how it’s like she’s vacationing with a platonic friend when every time I make the least little move hug, hold hands, or even get close and snuggle in bed, she can’t get far enough away from me? Which do you want – space or passion?

I also mentioned to her over the weekend that I’m tired of how she consistently fails to take what I say at face value – or even accepts that what I say is true, without some sort of independent verification.

That being said, last week, while we were killing time before heading to the airport in Chucktown, Cindy had mentioned how she wanted to get a bunch of the plants on our back porch moved to work for the winter. She asked if I might be willing to help. (one of the Diffenbachia’s has gotten huge!) I said sure, I’d help, but it might cost you. Cindy laughed and asked just what it might cost. I laughed and said something about it being a thing she wasn’t often willing to do. But she egged me on and assured me that she was willing to barter a little. So I flat out told her that if I was going to help her move plants, it was going to cost her the gift of this one particular little sexual favor.

She laughed again and said we had a deal.

Well. Sunday came and went. The plants got moved. I have not received payment. Cindy even brought THAT up in session last night. How everything came down to sex. To which I just HAD to point out that A – her effin plants got moved and B – she didn’t hold up to her part of the bargain and C – her effin plants STILL got moved – even without her holding up on her part of the sexual favor.

So. Janine asked her – “What do you want? A platonic friend or a little passion?” I asked “just how many times am I expected to be rejected before I finally give up? How many times am I going to be rejected while you complain about the lack of passion & romance?”

We’ve done the love mapping stuff. I’m physical (duh – I’m a guy!) and acts of kindness. Cindy is what ever the wordy one is – she needs to hear it. Janine confirms one general trend – guys want the physical bond before the emotional bond will develop. Gals want the emotional connection before they consent to the physical union. It’s amazing that our species has made it this far with those kinds of restrictions.

Bottom line is this – I will only go to the well so many times and come up empty before I want to go try a new well. I’ve given. I’ve changed. I finally learned that “staying in the moment” actually means “be aware of what you feel as it happens AND be willing and able to share that OUT LOUD with another human being” (With appropriate filtering in the event that what you’re feeling is anger.)

I’ve made changes. It’s time for Cindy to, how was it that Janine put it? – Can’t remember exactly, but the gist of it was “shit or get off the pot”.

I felt pretty good after session last night. Cindy was a little pensive.


One response

  1. GG


    October 21, 2010 at 2:27 am

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