Always tweaking something!

Bakers Dozen

Day 2201

I added a 13th question. See if you can figure out what it is. (And if you know the answer, speak up!!)

1. What insect are you most afraid of? Feel free to post a picture.

I am blaming a spider for the hockey puck sized debridement that took place on my right shin in 1999. I’m not afraid of spiders (or insects in general) but I do have a healthy respect for the damage they can do.

2. What is the greenest/most organic thing about you or that you do?

I ride my bike to work as much as is practical. Could do more.

3. Tell me about a recurring dream that haunts you.

I dream that I’m a huge greyhound kind of dog and I’m racing across a desert – and liking it. When I finally stop, I’m at a place that looks like an empty used car lot – lots of those strings of banners & bare light bulbs, but no cars or people. I also very clearly remember the texture of the sand too . . .

4. Have you ever missed a flight? What were the circumstances?

I have never been late to the airport. Flying is too exciting, I’d have to be dead to be late.

5. What do you consider your best feature?

Physical – legs. Including the spider bite scar. Quite the conversation piece.
Personal – my wry, sardonic wit.

6. What was the last concert you went to?

Aug. 22, 2010 – REO Speedwagon & Pat Benatar.

7. Describe the most embarrassing church moment you ever experienced.

No doubt – cranky child, had to get up & leave in the middle of the sermon because he was raising such a ruckus.

8. Are you a whistler, hummer or singer?

Singer. Rarely do I sing the melody though. I like to do the ba-da-da-dum-dee-da’s to the bass line of the tune.

9. George Washington Carver said, “I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.” What is God saying to you through nature today, or this very minute?

Be present NOW, be active NOW.

10. On September, 1, 1752, the Liberty Bell arrived in Philadelphia. What memorable event will take place in your life on September 1, 2010?

Yet another dog & pony show for work. Got to pitch another version of another project & make a case to get funding.

11. Taco Bell or the Liberty Bell? (You must choose.)

Give me Liberty before you give me Montezuma’s Revenge!

12. Do you believe men and women can have purely platonic friendships?

Tried that once. Failed miserably and almost tore my marriage apart. I think it’s possible, but each persons spouses need to be aware. Secrecy is not conducive to a solid relationship, says he who has learned first hand.

Counseling session Tuesday night. How is it that the therapist seems to be afraid of facing Cindy’s denial too? She says her attack method is to address some of the other issues at hand and see if that leads to a decrease in alcohol use. Every time we have one on one sessions I go in and tattle some more on where Cindy’s drinking level is. I basically offer evidence that the frequency and intensity are slowly increasing, in spite of our addressing other issues.

But then later last night, I had this thought. Why am I tying my definition of happiness, serenity or satisfaction to whether or not Cindy is drinking? Someplace in there the definition of compassionate detachment is screaming for recognition. I just gotta figure out how to get there.

Edited to add:

Here’s some news!

This hand and the ring it is showing off belong to my newest daughter-in-law to be.

This hand and the ring it is showing off belong to my newest daughter-in-law to be.

Yep. Eric & Kelly are now officially engaged as of about 11 this morning. I’m so excited I could squeal!


6 responses

  1. Ahhh, congrats to the happy couple first and foremost. I hope they have a long and loving marriage.

    As for the tattling on Cindy’s drinking – doesn’t that get exhausting? This isn’t a situation I’ve lived through, and I can only guess at the strength it takes to work through these issues. I just wonder how much of your energy you’re putting into keeping track of her drinking. Is that healthy? This whole situation must be very complicated. I wish you strength and peace.

    Do you see any improvement at all since starting the therapy? My ex refused to go, said if I was unhappy it was MY problem, he was fine. We are now divorced…shocking I know.

    Little Ol’ Me

    September 1, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    • bikinfool

      Thanks Lo’M. The kids are really excited.

      I gotta say – it’s not like I fly around the house counting beer bottles or measuring how full the liquor bottles are. That WOULD be exhausting. It’s just that when your spouse has to grab on to a door frame to keep herself standing upright (and still wobbles like there’s a stiff breeze blowing through the kitchen) AND can’t participate in a onversation with our son because she can’t do any more than mumble – you tend to remember it. When it happens 4 nights in a row? What’s that Frank Sinatra song – “Unforgettable”?

      I’ve been doing Al Anon meetings for 5+ years. That helps. Her drinking IS better than it was 3 years ago. I just fear she’s sliding back to where she was 3 years ago. What scares me is that if she does totally regress, in spite of us working on other extraneous issues, I don’t think I’m willing to offer a third chance. 30+ years of a relationship, right down the crapper.

      September 2, 2010 at 9:06 am

  2. great list and wise words on #12.

    September 2, 2010 at 8:27 am

    • bikinfool

      Why, thank you Renita. I saw you had a similar opinion but got there via a much better path. Way to go!

      September 2, 2010 at 8:51 am

  3. Awww yay, congrats to the happy couple!

    September 14, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    • bikinfool

      Thanks Maggie! Took a second to recognize you. Glad you stopped by!

      September 14, 2010 at 6:57 pm

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