Always tweaking something!

Oh Boy!

Day 1863 – 1864

I see Sarah Palin has finished her memoirs only 4 months after announcing a book deal.  Oh Boy!  Now, the book will be released Nov. 17 instead of ‘next spring’.  Did she finish so early because she didn’t have that much to remember, or she just couldn’t remember all that much anyhow?   For the record, I am not a fan of Ms. Palin’s.  She was grossly inexperienced for the position of Vice-President and now that she’s no longer the governor of Alaska, she’ll have trouble gaining any further political experience.  (Lack of) Interviewing talents aside, I don’t think she has much to offer in the way of leadership skills either.  Come 2012 I may register as a republican just so I can vote against her in the primaries (in the event she even thinks about running).

I’m sure sales of her book will be brisk, but there won’t be a copy in my house.  I’m spending too much time reading relationship repair manuals.  Or working on/breaking/fixing something, both in the physical and psychological sense.

That will be enough political crap for the next 4 years or so I think.  I stay away from politics here because it can be an incendiary topic, I really don’t follow it all that closely and if you want political porn, it’s available in SO many other places.  Here, I just like to whine about the inadequacies of my relationships and what I ought to be doing about them.

Hell, that summed things up pretty well, didn’t it?

Last night – no AA meeting for Cindy.  Know what that means?  Drinking.  Oh Boy!  Not a lot, (is the equivalent of 5 or 6 shots of vodka ‘not a lot’?), but I knew it was happening as soon as I walked in the house.  I checked the local liquor stocks when I had a minute or two alone in the kitchen.  Half a bottle of scotch – present for ~ 2 years?  Check.  About 1/3 flask of tequila, leftovers from a tequila lime something or another I did last winter?  Check.  Empty 750ml bottle of vodka that she-who-must-not-be-named drank last week?  Check.  (Why yes, I DID recently finish the last Harry Potter book)   New one liter bottle of vodka, showing signs of having been recently opened and sampled?  Check.

Curiously, when I got home from my Al Anon meeting, the level in the vodka bottle was even lower than before I left.  Shocking, no?  total gone?  ¼ of the bottle.

Maybe this will put it in perspective.  If we go out to dinner and each have a beer, Cindy will match me one for one.  A beer or two during dinner at a BBQ joint is no big deal for normal people. It ought to be a big deal to Cindy, however I will not create a scene in public and risk embarrassing either of us.  It’s social drinking.

I think the problem lies in the fact that Cindy in the last 6 weeks, Cindy has consumed more 750ml bottles of vodka on her own than I have bottles of beer – including the beer a week I have while bowling.  So if I call my own drinking normal/social, Cindy’s is decidedly more.  But does it qualify one as alcoholic?

According to this: then yes, she is.

Counseling again tonight.  Oh Boy!  I am teetering.  Do I continue to sit back and wait for the inevitable implosion or do I dive back into the shit storm of ‘sharing my feelings’ about Cindy’s drinking?  If I wait and nothing happens, I’ll have wasted weeks, months, even years – waiting for a failure that was never meant to be.  If I dive in, the potential consequences are worse than months of unfulfilled expectations.

This is fun torturing you all with the crap floating through my head.  I should be working but I can’t concentrate.

Ok.  After counseling, after dinner, now entering the golden silence.  That’s last bit is the sooper seekrit kode wurdz that says I took a dive into the maelstrom during counseling.  Janine, bless her heart, followed me in like a trooper.  I tried to use every gracious, honest, and unbiased technique I’ve read about over the last year or so.  Janine thought it went about as well as it could.

There is really only one thing to say at this point – to paraphrase Yoda: “The denial is strong in this one”

Good causes abound this week.  If you can, consider supporting Livestrong, a fantastic organization mobilizing for the fight against cancer and assisting those affected.

Also running this week is Boobiethon which is also mobilizing in the fight against breast cancer in particular.  Be advised: the splash page IS safe for work, the gallery pages further in are definitely NSFW.

(Man, I hope the html tags get interpreted right)

(Hey!! They did!)

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