Always tweaking something!

Please, No.

Day 1788

Went and saw The Bob yesterday.  Showed him pictures of the kids wedding.  Don’t think it mattered for two reasons:  1 – he didn’t have his, or anyone else’s glasses on so he couldn’t see for shit, and 2 – he probably had no memory of the event by the time Cindy & I got off the elevator on the ground floor. It’s a 5 floor ride.

But we felt we had to do it, just to assuage our own feelings of guilt.  Even though the nurses & social workers tell us there’s no point in feeling guilty, nor is there any need to visit with any regularity.  You do it because you want to – not because you HAVE to.

Reason 13,748 why my boys have instructions to tie me up in my treestand should I get ‘that way’:  I noticed yesterday that Bob was sort of picking at the seat of his pants after he stood up.  I also noticed a certain need to avoid walking behind him.  An olfactory need.  Granted, he’s in Depends or some such device, but I don’t want to have to do that, so please, just tie me to my treestand and walk away.  We can only hope it’s February.

Well.  On to brighter news.

Brighter.  Hmmm.  Got lotsa plants moved around the pond.  Pulled some hosta’s out from under the Douglas Firs in back and parked them in the shade on the north edge of the pond.  Some ferns that survived an experiment that went poorly got relocated under a mini Japanese maple that’s also slightly shaded by a big Norway Maple.  Also plopped down a few Armeria(?- Sea Thrift I think) along the edge of the pond that faces the house/porch along with some Creeping Thyme (edible even).  Still have much to move, and much of what was moved really won’t be right till next year.  Sucks that most all of it got moved while it was in blossom, but they’re perennials,  I’m sure they’ll be fine next year.

One little experiment that went well was grabbing some water hyacinth (legal to use up here in the tundra as winter is sure to kill it off should it get out in the wild) and getting it to lodge into some nooks & crannies in the stream.

They blossomed within a day of each other after a couple of weeks in the stream:

(right click and “view image”  This doesn’t seem to want to adapt to the larger image size.   Knew I shoud have formatted them smaller.  Oh well)

View up the stream.  2 hyacinth flowering simultaneously!

View up the stream. 2 hyacinth flowering simultaneously!

Messing with the Fstop to shorten the focal field.  Artsy fartsy.

Messing with the Fstop to shorten the focal field. Artsy fartsy.

Contrasted with rocks, a cool grass, a pagoda that finally has a home and a variety of yarrow:

Looking across the stream, back across the pond.

Looking across the stream, back across the pond.

This has quite possible become my favorite flower of all time:

Quite possible my new favorite flower

Quite possible my new favorite flower

I am SO glad it isn’t an invasive species up here.  Only problem is it can take a while before it flowers and it doesn’t always flower profusely up here.  I was surprised to see two flowering simultaneously.  Gonna have to remember to stick a couple in the stream earlier next year . . .  Plus, they’re great filter feeders, so long as the koi don’t go bat shit and eat all the roots . . .

Another couples session tomorrow.  It’ll be interesting.  They always are.  My therapist teams and I have decided on a coping strategy for dealing with Cindy’s forays into drinking.  Boils down to “less is more” and includes making sure I keep myself on the high road.  No passive/aggressive nonsense, no negative response to button pushing, no sarcasm/cynicism – really have to try and be a model citizen.

Off to bed, more zoo-like work conditions tomorrow.  Seems crazier AFTER we launch a new product.


5 responses

  1. Love love love your pond and stream. Best wishes x

    July 16, 2009 at 8:32 am

    • bikinfool

      Thanks for the kind thoughts Anna!

      July 17, 2009 at 7:58 pm

  2. The stream and flowers are soooo beautiful, stop it! I’m sorry to hear The Bob’s health is deteriorating, I know how hard that is on the fam, it’s hard to visit, don’t feel guilty for that, it’s very disturbing to see someone you once knew, sorta fading away…

    I’m so sorry, Brian, and especially for Cindy… it must be breaking her heart… Do you think when Bob eventually passes, do you think that will be the thing that… you know, for Cindy, do you think that will allow her to take the “leap” into health and recovery? I think that sometimes, but you know, you don’t want to say stuff like that, it’s none of my business… har… but here I am sayin’ it…

    Anyways, the one thing I don’t feel out of place saying is this, you all have taken excellent care of Bob’s needs, always have. So many things you did for him, while he was struggling, and his thought processes were going… all those times you tried to make it right for him with his computers and his phones and his TV’s and his remotes, trying to alleviate his distress and agitation… But he’s progressed to the point where his needs are so simple, there’s very little you can keep doing for him. I know that’s hard on you, because you are a DOER. Har!

    Speaking of which, I hope you remember to take the time to sit out there by that beautiful stream and pond, just sit and think and listen and breathe… That’s what you built it for, right? (said She Who Built 1000 decks on which to sit her little ass, and instead, she buys MORE houses on which to build MORE decks… sigh…)

    July 17, 2009 at 4:37 am

    • bikinfool


      Surprisingly, we’ve both accepted bob’s condition as something waaaayyyyy out of our control. He’s getting the best care we can get him (and regular changes), that’s all we can do for him.

      Unfortunately, I don’t think his condition is a catalyst in Cindy’s condition – or our condition for that matter. It’s just years of little things, stuff, that’s finally wadded up into a pile too big to ignore. The drinking? Been there all along. Slowly working it’s way out – losing it’s importance.

      Thanks for dropping by and leaving the kind thoughts!

      July 17, 2009 at 8:07 pm

  3. Lovely flowers! Thank you for your kind words today~

    July 17, 2009 at 8:29 pm

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