Always tweaking something!

Geeze, where am I?

Day 1772 – 1773

Or where was I?

It’s only been how long? I’m not even going to look. (11 days.  Sheesh!)

What a week we’ve had, eh? Bad time to be a celebrity. Here’s the list as I’ve heard it for the last week or so –

1 – Ed McMahon – Sorry to see him go. Now I’ll NEVER win a PCH sweepstakes.

2 – Farrah Fawcett – Yes, I had that poster. I did see “The Burning Bed” – by far her best piece of work. She put up a great fight. Sad to see her go too, but sometimes it’s best. No more pain, no more fighting.

3 – Michael Jackson – Wow. So much promise early on, such innovation as he hit his prime, then, what? Things just got weird. Starting to sound a bit like Elvis’ situation – personal doctor, questionable use of drugs, and what havoc did all those operations wreak inside, both mentally & physically? Maybe a great loss to the entertainment business, but we need to remember he was accused of pedophilia too. More than once. Lets not put him on too high a pedestal.

4 – Billy Mays – I’m sad to see anyone leave too soon (Billy & MJ are both VERY close to my age), but if it means I don’t have to hear Mays yelling at me anymore, hawking what ever product he’s deemed worthy of his efforts, well, I might be ok with that.

This just in. (Only slightly irreverent – )

So Thursday, after Farrah dies, she’s at the pearly gates. Good ol’ St. Peter says “You’ve led a good life. I’ll let you in AND grant you one final wish. What would you like?” To which Farrah replies, “Well, I wish that all the children in the world could be made safer.” Two hours later, Michael Jackson is dead. Ba da dum.

Where’d I leave off?

Zach & Jill got hitched, left for their honeymoon, I got sick as a dog. Had the cold from hell for two weeks. Haven’t been to sin class in 3 weeks now, but the last week is due to laziness. The cold is gone, I can breath with out horking up a spleen, I just got to like sleeping in till 6:30. Lazy bum.

Oh! I was out working on the pond Saturday when I had a need to reach down and pluck some dead leaves out of the water. As I got my face down near the surface, I spotted some movement. A quick little darting thing. Turns out it was a little, teeny baby fish. Not even a half inch long. Sort of a gray/green color, it blended right in with the algae growing on the sides of the pond. When I backed away a bit I saw another, but this one was a wee bit bigger, maybe actually just over a half inch long, and a little thicker through the middle. Then I went over to another part of the pond and saw 3 more! So it looks like SOMEONE in the pond has been pretty happy this spring. Don’t know who yet though. Maybe if the little squirts get bigger they’ll start to develop some color. That would help ID them.

If you look real hard, you can see two little fish.  On the left edge there is one facing up & left at 45 degrees.  On the right edge there is a slightly larger one facing down.

If you look real hard, you can see two little fish. On the left edge there is one facing up & left at 45 degrees. On the right edge there is a slightly larger one facing down.

Sort of a close up of the guy on the right but he's moved some.  Pay attention to the rock on the right - you'll need it as a frame of reference for the next shot

Sort of a close up of the guy on the right but he's moved some. Pay attention to the rock on the right - you'll need it as a frame of reference for the next shot

That lighter rock on the right in the pic above?  It's that small rock in the water, above and slightly right of my foot.  Can youo see the fish in this shot?  Me neither.

That lighter rock on the right in the pic above? It's that small rock in the water, above and slightly right of my foot. Can you see the fish in this shot? Me neither.

We have two or more of several kinds of fish. The Golden Orfe’s are a creamsickle orange color, the shibunkins are a calico sort with patches of color that can be red, blue, brown & white. The comets are usually some combination of orange & white. We have 2 larger comets and 8 little ones that are survivors from the pond ‘seeding’ I did last year. I don’t know how old they have to be to breed though. There are also 3 koi, 1 butterfly and 2 of the metallic colored ones. Nothing we have is a gray/green. We’ve had shibunkins successfully breed before (one of the ones we have left is a baby from 3 years ago) and comets are supposed to breed like rabbits – so I’m leaning towards them as the parents. I just hope the little guys can stay hidden until they’re too big to be considered lunch. Considering I toss in any grubs I find and the Orfe’s gobble them up – that’s going to be a while.

The falls in action.  On the right edge yu may be able to make out an orange splotch.  That's one of ast years 'feeders' - all of 2.5 inches long now.  No longer "lunch".

The falls in action. On the right edge yu may be able to make out an orange splotch. That's one of ast years 'feeders' - all of 2.5 inches long now. No longer "lunch".

The stream.  Getting there.  Have a gazillion perennials to move this weekend.

The stream. Getting there. Have a gazillion perennials to move this weekend.

It’s time to get concerned again too. Tonight’s couples therapy session is going to be a doozy. I remember very clearly, it was on Memorial Day when I fessed up and said Cindy’s continued and recently escalating drinking was worrying me. I feared that her continued drinking was going to put us right back where we were 2 years ago. I shared this in a counseling session. Cindy just closed off. Wouldn’t even talk to the therapist much 1 on 1. She eventually processed things, and we returned to some semblance of normalcy over the course of a week or so. Made it through the wedding. Cindy did drink at the reception, but not till very late. Truth be told, I was in worse shape than she was. (All I can say is Woodford Reserve is a very nice bourbon. Too nice.)

Aaaanyhow.  As recently as last week, in her 1 on 1’s with the counselor/therapist, Cindy had claimed she’d done no drinking since the wedding. I only know this because in my very own 1 on 1 last week I told Janine I was concerned about Cindy’s renewed drinking and the escalation of same. This revelation kind of caught Janine by surprise and that’s when she told me about Cindy’s claim that she’d abstained since the wedding. Should Janine have shared info from Cindy’s session? Is that line muddied because we’re also in couples therapy? Is it muddied because she lied? All I know is Cindy has claimed to Janine to have not had a drink since early June.

The sucky part? If I don’t voice my concerns (or share my feelings like everybody wants me to do) – if I pretend everything is just peachy, Cindy will go along being all nice & pleasant and the atmosphere in the house is relatively stress free. But it’s a time bomb waiting to go off. My other concern is that if Cindy gets wind of Janine telling me that she’s claimed to be not drinking, it could break what ever trust Cindy has established with Janine. Then ALL our progress will go right down the shitter. Somehow, we need Cindy to confess about the drinking without her knowing that Janine slipped and told me we’ve caught her in a lie. It’s probably pretty straight forward. I just need to touch base with Janine and make sure we’re on the same page. This is compounded by the fact that Cindy has a 1 on 1 with her tonight before our couples session. Methinks Janine will have to tip toe through that one.

Ok – so it’s later now. I can say that Janine tiptoes very well. I can also say that I bailed on the whole situation. Cindy is sooooo willing to play the part of “I’m working so hard on the relationship” as long as I ignore the issue that really drove a wedge between us to begin with. I am trying to avoid the passive/aggressive response: “well if you’re going to continue drinking, I may as well continue boinking Ms. CL 2 or 3 times a week. Mind if she comes over? It’ll save a ton on gas money.” I have a feeling that wouldn’t be too productive. Instead, I’d try to use it in a more positive mode: “I cut off my extra-marital relationship, it’s time for you to end your relationship with the bottle too.”

This weekend. I promise me. Plus, we have more couples stuff coming up early next week. It’ll be good timing.

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One response

  1. Q

    Sin class? Is that right before going to Confessional?

    Hope she comes clean soon (in more ways than one). Surely it can come up during a “couples visit”?

    And yeah, where the hell have you been? 😉

    July 5, 2009 at 11:04 pm

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