Squeaker
Day 2770
Wow. My Syracuse boys narrowly averted disaster again last night. But that’s what they do – just enough to win. Those Wisconsin kids shot the lights out! 14 three-pointers in one game – are you kidding? Next up is Ohio St. I think. Good thing the Syracuse crowd travels well, they’re gonna need all the help they can muster for that one. For the record it’s about a 5 hour drive from Syracuse to downtown Boston. (If I’m driving. If you’re driving? Probably about 6 hours)
After yesterdays whiny little rant, I went and bowled terrible. I blame triple atomic chicken wings. Well, ok, not really. They had no effect. I missed a shot or two early, made an adjustment based on that then spent the rest of the night trying to convince myself that the move was right. Last half of the last game I moved back to my original line and promptly pronounced myself an idiot. Done it before, will do it again. At least I don’t have to throw a bowling ball again till golf season is over.
Oh, and after bowling, what did I come home to? S.O.S. She’d gotten an update from the contractor that’s going to do our roof & siding and tried to tell me the same thing 3 times. I don’t know if she couldn’t remember that she just told me, didn’t hear my comments acknowledging her statements, didn’t hear my questions for clarification (which she answered) or what – but after she told me the third time I had to rather firmly tell her that I’d gotten it all and she was just repeating herself – again.
That, more than anything, is what drives me to working on those math problems in my head. Can’t have a conversation because she’s drunk & kinda slurring her speech. She’s too drunk to connect thoughts remember what was said and process the information. She’ll complain that we never go out with other couples, but everytime I ask her out with friends, she “needs to stay home to do her sub calls”. (i.e. stay home, get drunk and obsessively check her work voicemail) Not every night, but 3 of 4 so far this week. Not falling down drunk (like a few years ago), but drunk enough that it’s painfully obvious to me and I psychologically disconnect. Hence the math games – what would my budget be? Can I swing the house alone? Would I have to find a roomie? Do I just let her buy me out & leave? Sell it and split the equity? (Even though the mortgage payments always came out of my paycheck)
I know what my two best options are, and both of them involve me getting a new address. They both kinda piss me off, so I’m not fed up enough to actually do anything. Yet. But if there is a next time – I will get legally separated before wading into the dating pool. It’s just a mess doing it in the opposite order. Although it worked out well for the guy across the street. Maybe I need to go chat him up this weekend, hmm?
Thanks, but . . .
Day 2487
Gotta admit, I’m kinda tweaked. Tonight was the 34th Anniversary meeting for the Al Anon group I attend. It’s a big deal for the group. We invite guest speakers, bring in food, announce the meeting at other area meetings and invite friends from those groups. At 34 years, this group is one of the oldest in the area too.
Every anniversary meeting this group has I bring in pizza bread. Simple to make, packs a lot of flavor into a 3 or 4 bite (or 2 bite?) serving. Folks rave over it (I think they’re surprised a guy cooks, frankly) Monday night on my way home from work I picked up the necessaries to make a couple of loaves.
Tuesday afternoon I was trying to wrap up a few things at work before I left. I got home in time to throw together my pizza bread, let it cook, grab a bite for dinner and head out to the meeting with some nice, fresh, warm bread.
Well. I got home a little after 6 to find that Cindy had made the pizza bread. In spite of my disappointment at not being able to make the food I was taking to my meeting (note the 1st person singular pronouns!!!), the first words out of my mouth were “gee, thanks for making the pizza breads for me” – and I really tried to make it sound sincere.
Unfortunately, there were some issues with the dough I had bought. We typically make this stuff with the Pillsbury Pipin’ Hot Loaf pre-made bread dough in the pop-open cans. For the life of me, I couldn’t find the Pipin’ Hot Loaf. Left with no clear winner, I substitute a couple of cans (tubes? Pop-open thingamajiggies?) of the French Bread. Apparently Cindy had trouble getting it out of the can, then the shape of the French loaf wasn’t what she was used to, so she tried to re-shape it with a rolling pin. The dough ripped & tore, the shape was all wrong, and in spite of all this she still layered in the mozzarella & pepperoni, shaped it into a giant “U” on the cookie sheets and baekd it anyhow.
When I opened the oven, all I saw was loaves of bread that were cracked open all up & down their length with cheese & pepperoni grease leaking out all over the place. What bread wasn’t awash in cheese or pepperoni grease was welded to the baking sheet.
My reaction was along the lines of “I can’t take these to me meeting. I have to get to the store and get the stuff to remake them”. So off I went to the store to re-stock. Found the tubes of Pillsbury pizza dough this tie too! Got home, pulled the now finished, mis-shapen, leaking loaves out of the oven and immediately bent a spatula trying to scrape the loaves out of the cookie sheets I needed to make the new ones.
I got a more stout spatula (after retiring the first one to the trash – which got mysteriously bent into a pretzel) and scraped the loaf out best I could and took the cookie sheet to the sink. At the sink I find no SOS pads. Under the sink I find no box of fresh pads. Figures that’s the one thing we leave off this weeks grocery list.
Managed to clean that cookie sheet and its twin minus the SOS pads. Prepped to make the loaves. Opened my cans of dough without incident, got them on the sheets, did the egg wash, spread some ricotta, layered in the pepperoni and added the mozzarella. Fold, fold, roll & pinch the ends. Move to loaf two, repeat the process. 30 minutes, 350 degrees in a convection oven. (40 min at 400 in a regular oven)
Pulled out two gorgeous loaves, wrapped them and took off to my meeting where I was only a little late in helping to set up. Crisis at the meeting averted.
Crisis at home NOT averted. Once I saw the condition of the loaves Cindy had made I think I was clearly upset.
A – they turned out horribly.
B – they were for ME to make and take to MY meeting
C – they were MY contribution to MY groups celebration
D – I initially got the wrong dough. Had I been allowed to figure that out, I would have made different choices than Cindy did in deciding to try and make the dough I had work. Would have saved me a pack of pepperoni and a pound of mozzarella.
E – I wanted to make them a little different than I had in the past, Cindy didn’t know that therefore she couldn’t have done what I wanted.
F – SHE NEVER ASKED
G – She was already drunk when I got home.
H – I will not be apologizing for much of anything. Actions were taken on my behalf without my prior knowledge or approval. I appreciate and acknowledged the fact that Cindy “was only trying to help”, but damnit – if you’re trying to help, why fuck up my stuff?
No, I didn’t tell her that. I initially thank her for making the bread (before I saw the results). I did tell her I appreciated her efforts. What I haven’t yet told her is that I really, really resent her taking all the decisions about what to do about MY gift to the group out of my hands and making a total mess out of it.
I couldn’t tell her actually. She’s stayed out of my sight since ‘The Event’. When I got home from my meeting, I heard her (drunkenly) lumber up the stairs to bed. I can’t wait to get up there, get in bed and ask her to roll over and get her booze breath out of my face. Too bad the spare bedrooms are full of all the stuff out of our closets and the old master bath. No room in the spare rooms.
A speaker at our meeting tonight (the Al Anon speaker I invited) said something that really made an impression on me. It had to do with really letting go and letting the alcoholic crash & burn for themselves.
In my head, I know this to be true. Might be time to really think deep about if & how I am still enabling and take some steps to eliminate that. Know it in my heart and live it. Find the denial and melt it away.
Ass? Meet Boot
Day 2461 .
This week has kicked my ass for no particular reason. I am SO gad that today is my Friday. We’re taking delivery of the tub for the bathroom project tomorrow. Truck will be here sometime between 10 and 2. I hope arrives on the early end of the time slot, then I can get out for a bike ride if the freakin rain ever stops. As it turns out, I could have ridden to work Wednesday, but plans for the evening squashed that. Weird, I know – golf got cancelled so you’d think the weather would suck for biking. Unfortunately, golf courses take days to dry out, roads take mere hours.
I should take the time to figure out why this week has seemed so strenuous. Good little inventory exercise. I am also doing one on what it is I fear about considering separating form Cindy. Not that I’m considering taking that step, but I need to understand just what about it gives me the willies.
Have a new plan of attack for the job search & acquire mission. Rather than solely rely on on-line job sites to churn out likely suspects, I am broadening my “willing to re-locate” zone to pretty much the eastern seaboard south of NY. I am listing cities within each state and looking up newspapers in those cities. I will then search through those cities classifieds for jobs with potential. My aim is to start churning out 5 – 7 applications a day.
Last but not least – Saturday is reckoned to by Judgment Day by a few religious organizations. So I’m just wondering – when I wake up on Sunday, just how do I determine if I’m in Heaven or Hell? If, as I suspect, I am in neither Heaven nor Hell come Sunday, how soon can I expect those religious zealots warning me about the coming end of days to shut the heck up?
Silly question, I know. If the religious zealots disappear, I’m in heaven. If they’re still on the street corner pimping the end of days, I’m in hell.
If it isn’t raining in an hour, I’m sneaking out early so I can ride to the Y for spin class. Yes – it makes total sense.
Mouth? Meet Foot.
Day 2459
Oh what a night. Someone around here recently wrote about sticking ones foot in ones mouth. I managed to pull off a gem Monday night that still has me shaking my head.
I was in spin class, sweating & grinding to what the instructor, Lori, generously calls music. I have my own internal gripes about her music selections. They include Lady Gagger, Pink Eye, Split Green Peas, Ludicrous, Snoopy Dog just to name a few. Thing is, Lori is 40-something, the vast majority of her class is 45+ (shut up) and she’s somehow thinking that the above artists are going to appeal to her demographic. I guess some feedback has trickled back to her because she’s added a few new to her tunes to the mix that don’t suck quite as hard. (One is horrible. A version of Janis Joplin’s “take a Little Piece” that had been remixed for a step aerobics class. I’m going to go to iTunes and buy her the real version and ask her to permanently erase that other abomination)
Here are some of my other grievances with her:
A – Her pedaling cadence never matches the song that’s playing.
B – She doesn’t actually DO the resistance changes she tells us to do and sometimes gets lost.
C – She uses a “4 zone” resistance system. 1 = no resistance. 2 = flat road 3 – medium or large hill (an improper reference itself – even a BIG hill can have a mild incline – it’s the incline angle that determines load) (Sorry for geeking out there) and 4 = all the resistance you can tolerate. She loves to bounce back and forth between 3 & 4 or 2 & 4.
D – She uses the term “full turn” but I’m not really sure how she’s defining that (see “B”)
E – She does standing sprints all the time. On a real bike? No one I know stays out of the saddle for very long on a sprint.
F – She does way too many out of the saddle exercises compared to out of the saddle time on a real bike.
G – We do this exercise called ‘Drills’. Pedal left leg only, pedal both, pedal right leg only, pedal both. Most instructors have us increase resistance after a full cycle. Keeps the left/right balance in tune. Lori increases basically at every comma, which produces an imbalance in leg conditioning. The right leg always operates at a higher load.
H – Her taste in music sucks.
And I still go every Monday evening. Why? Because the $^*&@#*< rain around here never $^*&@#*< stops and I can’t ride outside!
Still, Lori is a sweet gal, she means well and if I close my ears I can modify everything else she says so that it’s more like what the other instructors are doing. She even says “Do what you can, modify to suit your needs.” With that disclaimer A thru G pretty much go away.
Last night seemed particularly bad though. Might have been me. And keep in mind we’ve had cold, rainy weather something like 10 of the last 14 days. At the end of class we were doing our cool down and Lori was reminding us about future classes, etc. and she said “and next week Summer will be here” to which I loudly replied “Promise?”. Of course, 3.8 milliseconds after the words flew out of my mouth I realized she was referring not to the season, but to Summer, one of the substitute instructors that we all LOVE and would like to see get a permanent class. (Summer also plays a ton of music out of my wheelhouse, but she stays on rhythm and her tunes don’t suck out loud. They’re just new to me.)
When I heard a giggle or two from the class (3.9 milliseconds after the words left my mouth) I tried to back pedal and make it clear that I was referring to “Summer, the season” as opposed to the craptastic weather we’ve endured this spring. I also went up to Lori after class and apologized privately, but I think she hates me now. I may have to go to her Saturday morning class to try and kiss & make up. (No – not really kiss her. She’s not my type.) I was going to ride my 50 mile Batavia loop, but I might just have to incorporate the Y into it somehow.
Shit.
Found Them!
Day 2438
Oh, the simple things in life can leave quite a hole when we don’t have them.
All day Monday I made do without my glasses. I looked (almost) EVERYWHERE, twice, Monday morning trying to find them. After making myself 20 minutes late for work (what are they going to do, fire me? Oh wait, they did!) I decided to suck it up and deal with it.
Day time driving is fine. I have a little trouble reading street signs, but after al these years, I know the way to work. True, we’ve only been in this particular building for 7 or 8 years, but we used to have an apartment on the side street at the traffic light the next block up the street from where I turn off for work. That was nearly 30 years ago, but they don’t shift the roads around too much in these parts.
Anyhow. I can drive. I can keep my computer screen at a good focal distance. If I have to read something, I probably have a soft copy available (data sheets for *&%* USB hubs, CB reports, etc.) I have trouble reading fine print hard copy and working with circuit boards. Check this out (Letting my inner geek out):
Source of migraines
This is one of my boards. That’s the end of a Bic pen in there for reference. The hole in the end of the pen? One eigth of an inch. 0.125 inches. That part that’s circled? It’s an 0603 sized part. 1/16 of an inch long and I might have to get a test lead on a contact on either end – without contacting a neighboring part. Oh – and the camera focus? That’s slightly better than I can see at a reasonable distance.
For a better perspective, I’ll give the board the finger:
Monster finger attacks circuit board!
But I DO have a nice 10x lens to use for personal zooming in. It only costs me the use of a hand to see. But with those parts? I need it glasses or not.
Oh yeah – what was my point? Glasses. Didn’t have them yesterday. Had myself convinced that Cindy picked them up in the morning, so I soldiered on without them. Got home last night after spin (another subject in and of itself) and went through the whole (almost) house again and still found nothing. Its amazing how what you’re looking for doesn’t magically appear someplace after the third or fourth time you’ve looked there.
Cindy got back from her meeting. No glasses. I even asked nice, blaming myself first. Still, no luck. Tried reading a book I’ve been working on (“Against All Things Ending” book 3 in “The Third Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever”, overall book 9 of the 10 book series) (sorry, you have to read the first 8 to make ANY sense of the ninth, but I do recommend the series if you like Lord of the Ring style fantasy). Without my glasses or longer arms, I only got through 3 or 4 pages before the struggle got annoying.
Miraculously, around 11pm I had an inspiration. Sunday afternoon I got on the desktop PC downstairs so I could print out some stuff. I ALWAYS take off my glasses when working at the PC (like now even). Checked the basement and sure enough, there were my glasses, sitting right on the desk next to the monitor. At least I can see today.
Spin last night. Lori’s class. Horrible music (Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, a whole bunch of other shit I don’t even know) with a couple tunes thrown in for the over 45 white crowd (75% of the class). But thi particular CD had an abomination of a Janis Joplin tune ( Piece of My Heart – remixed for an aerobics class. Just a travesty!) and some old Kinks tune that might have been the best thing on the CD. And then there’s Lori’s whole teaching method. She cheats. She has no idea what really loading up the resistance is. Make me wonder if she’s ever ridden a bike outside up a real hill. The rate she pedals when she’s telling us to increase our resistance to simulate a “large hill”? No freaking way anybody pedals up hill like that. She also has some sort of fear of sitting in the saddle.
I go only for the workout. I listen to the horrible music, set the resistance where I like and ad lib where I need to. Standing sprint? Nope. I’ll sit & sprint. Back & forth, back & forth between hi & lo resistance 4 times a song? Nope. I’ll crank it up & leave it there.
Last night was tough though. For all the folks doing the Y-athalon we simulated the biking portion of the event. 15 solid minutes of seated grinding at a moderately high resistance about 15 minutes into the class. That worked up a good solid sweat and was more like real live outdoor riding than anything Lori has done in class. With a whole lot of climbing type riding afterwards, my glutes were feeling it Tuesday. I should probably do a better job of stretching them afterwards. Getting old is not for the weak.
It’s late Tuesday night now. Cindy’s streak of being into her cups when I get home from my Al Anon meeting is intact. It’s scary how reliably she takes advantage of a couple hours of “her” time. It’s a classic example of alcoholism. But she has it “under control”. Right. I have only one course of action. Every time she wants to have any interaction and I’m aware that she’s been drinking, I MUST reply with something like “I would rather not do that with someone that’s been drinking”. If I keep up with stating my decision & reason, maybe it’ll get through. It’s all I have – my decision to associate with people of my choosing – in this case, the sober ones. If Cindy can’t get herself in that large, non-exclusive group, it’s her loss.
Someone remind me of that Saturday afternoon, mmkay? Odds are I’ll spend the day working on the bathroom project. By 6 I’ll be ready to knock off for the day, but she’ll be 3 hours or more into her medication. Maybe I should just lose my cool and go off on her. Hmmmm.
We’re Honoring Who?
Day 2272
To those of you who have served our country in the Armed Fores, thank you. It’s an honor to be associated with such a fine bunch of people.
Time for my yearly rant.
{rant}
Know who has today off? School kids, teachers, government employees, bank employees and a few other assorted groups.
Know who’s working today? Lots & lots of veterans, unless they’re in one of the above mentioned groups of people.
So tell me again how it is that giving school kids, teachers & government & bank employees the day off is honoring those who have served our country?
I can get a free car wash today, IF I can prove my veterans status. That means I have to go home and dig up my DD214 (discharge papers), then stop by one of two car washes that are providing the service. Yeah, I’m all over that.
Want to really honor the vets? Give THEM the day off and make everybody else go to work. School kids too. They get enough full & half days for superintendent workshops & parent teacher conferences; they don’t need MORE time out of class.
If we can’t arrange to give veterans the day off, then eliminate the day off for those who haven’t earned it. Take a minute at 11:00 to reflect on the significance of the day, (Armistice Day) and get on with our lives.
{/rant}
Well, THAT didn’t make me feel any better at all. At least it’s bowling night tonight. Maybe I’ll throw 11 strikes in a row. That wouldn’t suck. 12 would be better, but I’d be thrilled with 11. I just can’t imaging ME throwing that many strikes consecutively. My knees get all rubbery after 5 or 6 and it gets increasingly difficult to maintain speed, balance, arm swing – you know, all those things you need to bowl well. In theory, al you have to do is think about THIS shot. Just throw THIS ball as well as you can. But the knowledge of what happened on the previous shots (hopefully a boat load of strikes) rather poisons the whole “stay in the moment” process.
Know what else? Day light savings is done. It’s actually light out around 6:45 in these parts. Plus, it’s supposed to warm up a bit over the next few days. As a matter of fact, Friday nights low temp is supposed to be only 40. (We’ll take that around here). That means that if I get off my duff and fix my bikes rear tire, I just might be able to ride to spin class Saturday morning. Granted, it’ll be only 40, but if you pedal hard enough you can generate enough heat to stay warm. As long as it isn’t windy.
If I do ride to class Saturday, it’ll still leave me about 60 miles short of my 1000 mile goal for this year. With deer season opening next week and winter ready to start any minute now (except for this weekend), I’m having trouble seeing where I’m going to wedge in 60 more miles. Have to make next years goal 1500 miles I suppose.
Off to the zoo. Have to work up version #6 of the latest P.I.T.A. project, only to risk having it all blown away at a 4pm managers meeting. Oh, joy.
I Want My MTV?
Day 2259
Before I get to the title, I have to unload a quickie about this douchebag driver I ran across yesterday.
As I was getting on the expressway yesterday morning, I made my way up the acceleration ramp and was getting ready to merge into the right lane. To my left, in the right lane, I saw the front bumper of a white pick-up truck. This truck was all done up as a construction/electrical contractor vehicle – big equipment boxes on the back, ladder racks, etc.
I was doing about 50 as I neared the end of the ramp and was easily keeping pace with the truck. I tried accelerating a little more so I could slide in front of him, but the driver of this truck managed to accelerate with me, keeping pace. With me running out of ramp room, I had little choice but to slow down, let him get past me, then slide in behind him.
This was when I found out that this truck had plenty of room to move into the next (middle) lane and let me in. Why he didn’t I’ll never know.
Anyhow. After I got on the expressway (finally), I made my way over to the left lane so I could pick up my next exit. As I am watching in my rear view mirror, Mr. Construction Truck Driver decides that NOW is a good time to move over a lane, so he does. No signal (it’s the law ya know), going slower than surrounding traffic and cutting off some other driver in his new lane. Drivers like that just irritate me. They drive like there is no one else on the road, like nothing they do will have an impact on any of the other people flying around at 60 mph.
Wish we could give out citizens citations for dick head drivers. Pile up enough citations and your license would get restricted until you took, at your own expense, a 40 hour polite driving course. Too bad the system would probably get abused by other crappy drivers falsely reporting incidents just for spite. Ahh well . . .
So. MTV. Heard of the shoe “Made” on MTV? Anyone over 40 probably hasn’t. I have only heard of it because I have kid in their 20’s. Anyhow. Some local gal (Vanessa or Victoria – something like that), late teens or early 20’s, has apparently been picked to have her own episode or series or what ever. I don’t know what she will be “Made” into, but part of her making it involve getting into aerobic shape apparently.
Wednesday night in spin class, they were taping her as she was doing spin class with us. Much of the time the camera woman (a skinny little thang from Brooklyn with floral print bikini underwear exposed above her very low rise jeans – is that professional?) was all up in Ms. V’s face getting close ups of her gritting her teeth and sweating. Other times she was backed off a bit getting a wider view, probably including a good chunk of the class. I think I might have gotten included in the background of several shots.
After class, we all (30+ people) were asked our names & phone numbers then asked to sign waivers or not. If we didn’t mind having our sweaty, flushed, dripping mugs displayed on national TV, we signed. IF we wanted to have our faces fuzzed out, we didn’t sign.
I signed. I was also wearing one of my Twin 6 T-shirts, so maybe I could do little free advertising for Brent & the boys. It was doing a GREAT job of soaking up some sweat. A little publicity for my favorite bike gear/t-shirt shop couldn’t hurt, eh?
So if you happen to catch MTV: Made sometime in the next year and see an episode from Rochester or the Westside YMCA and you see a guy wearing a screaming red t-shirt that reads “Cat 6” on the front – wave.
Bowling last night. Oi! First game I started out with two splits. Picked them both. Followed that up with a strike. Made the mistake of relaxing a bit because I thought I was lined up ok. NOT! Got 3 more splits that game, didn’t pick any of those and wound up shooting 34 pins below my average. My partners fared much better and as a team we ended up taking the first game. Towards the end of that first match, I did manage to make some corrections and find a more consistent line.
For the night though, I only missed my average by 15 pins. Not a horrible night, but there were 3 or 4 brain farts where I missed easy spares. Always room to improve.
Good night for the team. Earned an 8 point sweep. Started the night in 3rd place but don’t know how the teams above us did. At least we know that those behind us can’t get closer!
Settled a couple of issues with Cindy last night too. One was a concession on my part, the other was an acknowledgement on hers. My concession? Cut down to one counselor. I’d been using Annette as a sort of coach in this whole marriage counseling thing, but since she never really got Cindy’s side of the story, she was operating on limited information. Not like I was telling her any untruths, but everything was always slanted my way. So I’ll stop seeing Annette and focus on my work with Janine.
Cindy’s acknowledgement? That in spite of asking me a question and getting my answer, she’ll go on ahead doing what she wants, even if the question she asked me was about what I wanted.
Example. Sunday night we were making Greek Patty Melts for dinner (Wamb Burgers). Cindy asked my if just a salad was enough to go with the burgers. I said yes, just a salad would be plenty. She proceeded to get out some leftover fingerling potatoes to warm up in the microwave. I just let it slide.
Later, as we were wrapping up the cooking, Cindy was getting ready to start the microwave. I asked her if she was having all the potatoes. She said that she’d have a few, but thought I wanted the rest. I reminded her that I said that just a salad was plenty for me, I didn’t want the potatoes. Guess what got put back in the fridge?
Last night, I brought that episode up again. Cindy asked a question. I gave an answer. Cindy did what she thought I needed, in spite of what I really answered. What I reminded her last night: I am a guy. I am linear. You ask me what I want, I tell you what I want. No hidden agenda, no reading between the lines, no interpreting my answer. Accept what I say and act on THAT, not on what you think I want.
Tonight I’m going to work on that “favor” she owes me for moving those plants to her office at work. It’s been two weeks and she hasn’t paid up. She really doesn’t want to get a reputation for going back on her word or not paying her debts.
Supposed to be chily tonight (40′s). Hot tub is going to feel awesome.
All Thumbs
Day 2209
Linda, over at Second Cup suggested that I add “Nothing” as a bullet item on my “To Do” list. Heh. I actually already had it on my list. First item. Never got it crossed off. See here:
Yep. Never got to ‘Nothing’. Gotta work on that.
I mentioned that bowling starts today right? Here’s the thumb on my left hand:
If you can’t make it out, it looks perfectly normal.
Now. Here’s my right thumb. Apparently on crack. Go see:
That reddish area on the right? That’s a new crack. It’s even bigger now. Above & to the left of Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is a yellow/brown spot. That’s an old crack that’s growing out and getting ready to peel off. This is with 4 months of now bowling and fairly regular drowning in Eucerin ‘Plus Intensive Repair’ lotion. Doesn’t seem to be able to soak in.
I usually avoid commenting on politics & religion, but I have to make an exception this time. That yahoo down in Florida that’s’ making a big deal of burning a Quran on 9/11 is asking for nothing but trouble. It’s even more disturbing that this is a clergyman proposing this act. Isn’t an act like this the antithesis of what he should be teaching? Seems like a real poor choice for honoring those that lost their lives in the terrible events of that day. That whole “eye for an eye” deal only leaves you two blind people with the same old issues.
No more politics/religion for the foreseeable future.
Cindy’s unusually quiet. Seems like she’s expecting something to hit the fan. I think that will happen Thursday or Friday night. Nothing dramatic on my part, just an explanation of my actions & motivations on some recent evenings. I know there are nights she feels I withdrew. There are other nights where I also withdrew but she was too far into her cups to really notice. I just need to remind her that I get to make choices about whom I associate with. If she chooses to drink to excess, I choose to not associate with her. It’s that simple. I just need to try and anticipate all the denials, blame shifting and diversionary tactics I’ve seen before.
Third (or 4th or 5th) time’s a charm, right?
Bakers Dozen
Day 2201
I added a 13th question. See if you can figure out what it is. (And if you know the answer, speak up!!)
1. What insect are you most afraid of? Feel free to post a picture.
I am blaming a spider for the hockey puck sized debridement that took place on my right shin in 1999. I’m not afraid of spiders (or insects in general) but I do have a healthy respect for the damage they can do.
2. What is the greenest/most organic thing about you or that you do?
I ride my bike to work as much as is practical. Could do more.
3. Tell me about a recurring dream that haunts you.
I dream that I’m a huge greyhound kind of dog and I’m racing across a desert – and liking it. When I finally stop, I’m at a place that looks like an empty used car lot – lots of those strings of banners & bare light bulbs, but no cars or people. I also very clearly remember the texture of the sand too . . .
4. Have you ever missed a flight? What were the circumstances?
I have never been late to the airport. Flying is too exciting, I’d have to be dead to be late.
5. What do you consider your best feature?
Physical – legs. Including the spider bite scar. Quite the conversation piece.
Personal – my wry, sardonic wit.
6. What was the last concert you went to?
Aug. 22, 2010 – REO Speedwagon & Pat Benatar.
7. Describe the most embarrassing church moment you ever experienced.
No doubt – cranky child, had to get up & leave in the middle of the sermon because he was raising such a ruckus.
8. Are you a whistler, hummer or singer?
Singer. Rarely do I sing the melody though. I like to do the ba-da-da-dum-dee-da’s to the bass line of the tune.
9. George Washington Carver said, “I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.” What is God saying to you through nature today, or this very minute?
Be present NOW, be active NOW.
10. On September, 1, 1752, the Liberty Bell arrived in Philadelphia. What memorable event will take place in your life on September 1, 2010?
Yet another dog & pony show for work. Got to pitch another version of another project & make a case to get funding.
11. Taco Bell or the Liberty Bell? (You must choose.)
Give me Liberty before you give me Montezuma’s Revenge!
12. Do you believe men and women can have purely platonic friendships?
Tried that once. Failed miserably and almost tore my marriage apart. I think it’s possible, but each persons spouses need to be aware. Secrecy is not conducive to a solid relationship, says he who has learned first hand.
Counseling session Tuesday night. How is it that the therapist seems to be afraid of facing Cindy’s denial too? She says her attack method is to address some of the other issues at hand and see if that leads to a decrease in alcohol use. Every time we have one on one sessions I go in and tattle some more on where Cindy’s drinking level is. I basically offer evidence that the frequency and intensity are slowly increasing, in spite of our addressing other issues.
But then later last night, I had this thought. Why am I tying my definition of happiness, serenity or satisfaction to whether or not Cindy is drinking? Someplace in there the definition of compassionate detachment is screaming for recognition. I just gotta figure out how to get there.
Edited to add:
Here’s some news!
This hand and the ring it is showing off belong to my newest daughter-in-law to be.
Yep. Eric & Kelly are now officially engaged as of about 11 this morning. I’m so excited I could squeal!
I got Very Little
Day 2189
I’m trying out this for more blogs to follow:
This is frightening. I have nothing post worthy to say, so I’ll likely fill a page with senseless drivel and post it anyhow.
Cindy made it to & from the out of state funeral service without incident. She got me a GPS for Christmas that we made good use of on our vacation – but I was the one driving the controls (for better or worse). For her trip, we programmed in all the addresses she’d need, got her comfy with choosing destinations and turned her loose. The odd thing is that after 40 some years of making that trip, the GPS picked an entirely different route than either of us was used to. Guess it worked, seeing as she successfully navigated both ways, eh?
My evening of bachelorhood also passed without incident. How can you screw up this schedule? – get home from work, grab dinner, feed the fish, head out to the weekly Al Anon meeting, get home again, putz around for a bit & hit the hay. Strenuous schedule.
Here’s another oddity. For the last week or so, I’ve been getting these nasty headaches, right behind my left eye. Feel not unlike someone is jabbing me with an ice pick. Once the headache starts, I notice that, geeze, I can’t get any air through the left side of my nose. A few blasts of Afrin, handful of (3) Advil and an hour later I feel human again. Know when I didn’t get a headache? The night Cindy was in Delaware.
She rolled in last night about 9:30 and sure enough, by midnight my head was throbbing. It kinda sucked because I really needed to be in at work by 7:00 this morning which means a 6:00 am wake-up call. Getting up at midnight to start my headache fix, knowing it’d be at least 30 minutes before I could get back to sleep wasn’t doing a lot to improve my mood either. Like I’m the one with the morning grump problem.
If this sinus headache thing keeps up, I’m going to have to break down and get it looked at. Which brings up problem number 29,402 – my primary care physician hightailed it for Atlanta last month and I have yet to pick a new doc. The good news here is that this doctors office had slowly migrated. Combining their moves with my own, I went from having a doc only 2 miles away to having to travel closer to 15 miles. Around here, that’s from the suburbs on the west side of the city (me) to the burbs on the east side (doc). Less than ideal. So now I get to look for a new doc. On the west side. That is hopefully has a similar demeanor to my former doc. Sometimes I think I’d like a more “in your face” approach, but it’s more likely I’d find that off-putting and end up switching. Truth be told – I’ve never switched doctors either. They have a way of leaving me.
Just got an electronic statement for my EZPass – that RF tag dealie we use to pay expressway tolls here in the north east. I just did a little summary from our vacation earlier this month. Between the New York State Thruway (I-90 for my purposes) I-95 through New Hampshire and I-95 & II295 in Maine we paid $25 in road tolls! That RF tag makes it too painless! The nice part? EZPass tagged cars get through the toll booths really fast. There are EZPass only lanes. Don’t know why people wouldn’t switch after seeing EZPass enabled cars zoom past long lines of cars waiting for the traditional toll paying ritual.
I’ve been trying to hold off on this one, but I gotta let some leak out. Cindy has asked me to be less of a Nazi when it comes to her & alcohol. So I’ve been trying that. I’ve shared that I think if she believes that she can control her drinking she’s just fooling herself. She’s stepping onto a very slippery slope. If and when she slips, I will maintain my non-Nazi position. However, with that she has to know that I will also not provide cover for her problem. I won’t blab it to the world (just the internet apparently) and I will do my damndest to not enable. I DO reserve the right to one very big “I told you so”.
That being said – I can see the escalation happening. When she got home from Delaware Wednesday night she apparently stopped and picked up a hip flask bottle of her favorite hooch. She helped herself to a single drink Wednesday night. I think. Last night, she was drinking when I got home. She apparently finished off that flask while I was mowing the yard (she was “doing laundry”) then poured herself a beer just before we hopped in the hot tub. (I had a single beer too – a Bar Harbor Brewery Summer Ale.) When a thunderstorm forced us out of the tub, Cindy helped herself to another beer. By then (to paraphrase George Thourogood), she was plenty high. I was plenty done for the night. Again, you could almost hear the ‘click’ as I disconnected.
I must re-affirm to Cindy just where I want this border to be – i.e. when she chooses to have more than one or two drinks, or gets to the point where it’s obvious to me that she’s been affected by booze, I choose to not have to deal with her. The question is when. We’re headed to a Pat Benatar & REO Speedwagon concert Sunday evening. Do I re-state the boundary tonight (Friday) and risk ruining the concert? Do I wait till the Monday after the concert, which happens to be the day before our next scheduled couples therapist visit?
My problem is I fret too much over the repercussions. I fret to the point where I just stuff the concerns and never raise a fuss. I fret the repercussions because my experiences with them are that they are never good. Never. Every time I try to trust that my boundary setting will be accepted by Cindy in a mature manner, that trust gets blown away. I may as well wrap my arm in steaks and stick it into a lion’s cage. The results are disturbingly similar.
So maybe rather than fret her reaction, as long as I’m reasonably certain what it’ll be, why not just get it over with? Treat it like pulling off a band-aid?
Friday night is gonna suck. I guess it’s better to be forewarned.
Updated because I noticed that I can’t use html attributes in the title. The title was supposed to be :I got Nuthin Very Little” and it looked like VERY poor grammar with the ‘Nuthin’ not crossed out. Granted, the grammar is still horrendous, but at least it looks like it wasn’t translated from Babylonian or something.
Back on the Couch(es)
Day 2181
How convenient. Return from a vacation and 10 straight days of all-the-time quality-time with Cindy and I have therapist visits scheduled on back to back days.
It’s interesting noting the different techniques & styles each of the therapists’ uses. Annette, my first 1 on 1 therapist and our former couples’ therapist, uses a more direct, confrontational approach. No BS, no pussyfooting around. I think that’s what made Cindy reluctant to work with her. She wouldn’t put up with any of Cindy’s manipulations.
Janine (our current couples’ therapist who also sees each of us 1 on 1) on the other hand, tried the direct approach with Cindy. After watching her (Cindy) retreat and close off in reaction to the direct approach, has adopted a ‘side door’ approach. I believe she’s been swayed by Cindy to start to believe that there IS no drinking problem per se – it’s the drinking that is a side effect of other unresolved issues.
All that makes me want to call bullshit. Getting booted off the AAU swim team at the age of 16 has nothing to do with any unresolved issues between us. Those drinking habits she nurtured in college? I was in the service in Washington, 2700 miles away. The whole early part of our marriage there weren’t any glaring issues between us, but I was right there drinking alongside her much of the time. I’ve come to me senses mostly. Cindy? She learned to use drink as an escape long before there were any unresolved issues or a desire for a deeper, more emotionally involved relationship between us.
Granted, we could improve thing between us (ya think?), but fixing them won’t solve the whole problem. Janine wants to address these other issues and see if the drinking problem abates. Personally, I think Janine is being played. I respect her opinion that if she pushes the issue too hard Cindy will up & quit, but I also am supremely frustrated with the current level of progress. I have made changes, I have made concessions, I am trying to provide the things Cindy claims to want & need. I don’t feel those efforts are being reciprocated.
Janine wants to take the side door approach. Annette is telling me I need to be prepared for a fight. Maybe the approach is for me to play the role of bad cop and let Janine play good cop. I’ll be the dick and dole out the tough love and let Janine be the sounding board & confidante and help guide Cindy through the process. Problem is I need to get better about that tough love stuff.
That begins with some boundary setting – or re-declaring. I’ve been mulling this over since Tuesday night and had that thought reinforced by Annette yesterday. That’s where the “get ready to fight” warning came from too. I dislike fights. They make me squirm. I am averse to having people angry with me. Makes it readily apparent why I hesitate to dive into these situations. On top of that? Sunday is our (ssshhhhhh!!!) 29th Anniversary. Who the heck wants to pick a fight 3 days before their anniversary?
So, yeah. Color me squirmy. This could be just what we need, or it could go bad in so many different ways . . .
What’s News?
?Day 2158
Can someone explain to me why crap like Lindsay Lohan’s situation, Mel Gibson’s latest drunken rant, aaaaallllll those people that are famous for being famous people and most of the casts of the “reality” TV world are considered news worthy?
If that kind of crap has to be thrust upon us daily by the news industry, maybe “the industry” has gotten a little too bloated. Maybe they should cut back their staff and concentrate on news of the non-titillating-but-stuff-we-really-need-to-know variety.
Of course I suppose the rationale behind it all is that they are only producing what people want to see. So what’s the Nielsen’s rating for some schmuck show like E! versus the rating for CNN of the local news in the same time slot? It’s a sign that there’s just too much bandwidth to fill when drivel like E! or OMG or TMZ has to be offered up to fill a time slot.
Yes, I know I don’t have to watch it. I don’t. But it does come up in my on screen programming guide. I am paying for the bandwidth it takes up, whether I watch it or not. What I’d really like is some sort of a la carte channel selection where I only pay for the stuff I want to watch regularly (Discovery, ESPN, ABC NBC CBS, etc) or at least have on hand (CNN, MSNBC for example).
The dozen or so religion channels I get? Why? Be gone!
However many shopping channels? Why waste the bandwidth?
Lets go to a survival of the fittest mode. Pay for what you want to watch. Don’t pay for and don’t suffer what you don’t want. If channels don’t get enough subscribers to survive, buh-bye! – unless the 3 people that watch some lame channel want to fully subsidize it’s continued existence.
Ok. Rant over. Or, in other words, I haven’t got much else to bitch and or whine about. Except these tidbits:
Got my FIL’s 2008 taxes straightened out, I think. Now I just have to provide the IRS with a solid reason why a dementia suffering gentleman in his mid-70’s didn’t sign his electronically submitted return. I think a brief letter, along with copies of the POA, Death Certificate and Letters Testamentary (proof of executorship) ought to settle that. Then I get to tackle 2009 & 2010 taxes. Be still my heart!
Didn’t ride my bike to work Monday OR Tuesday. Monday was understandable as I had my laptop in tow. Tuesday was unforgiveable. Monday’s original weather forecast for Tuesday called for greater than 60% chance of thundershowers from 9am right through sunset. Hah! Tuesday’s forecast for Tuesday? Effin gorgeous! Screw ‘em. I’m riding my bike for the rest of the week no matter how lousy the forecast is. I need to pile up miles before the Battenkill ride. I’d like to get in 100 this week and another 100 next week.
Had a substitute instructor at spin class last night. The regular Monday night instructor (Lori) is on vacation. (Thank God!) So we got Summer instead. Summer kicks some serious ass. She’s been doing some classes for another instructor for the summer and has gained an excellent reputation. Now more people are asking for her to sub when they need one.
What makes a good instructor? Appropriate music. It dooesn’t even have to be musi everyone likes (does that even exist?), but the tempo of a song should match the tempo of the exercise you’re trying to do. For example: you can’t do sprints to a love ballad. Long, slow, powerful hill climbs shouldn’t have anything by The Miami Sound Machine accompany them. Rap, no matter how good (does that even exist?) should never, ever be used. ESPECIALLY at a YMCA. There are two instructors that don’t get this, and they both happen to teach on Monday. Lori is one and Bill is the other. Lori seems to favor the music that maybe her teenage daughters like. Bill just seems clueless about music. Neither of them can match a songs tempo to an exercise. Criminal!
The other important thing for an instructor is to actually DO the exercises. Some instructors don’t actually increase the resistance on their flywheels when they tell you to. Consequently, after asking you to crank up the resistance about 5 or 6 turns they’ll tell you to sprint when in fact it’s all you can do to keep the pedals moving. Oops. If they were DOING the exercise, they’d know where the hell they were. Or we were.
This one is a personal peeve. NO STANDING SPRINTS. I flat out refuse to do them. When riding a real bike, out in the open air and traffic, the only time I stand to ride is when climbing steep, long hills or 6 to 8 pedal strokes after starting out at an intersection. When I’m really going fast? I’m sitting. So all of Lori’s light resistance standing sprints I miss. I’ll sit & sprint no problem. But I won’t stand for standing sprints. (Hah – God I kill me!)
It does help if you don’t pick sucky music too. Anything by Lady Gaga (Gagster)? Skip it. Rusted Root? Good stuff. Snoop Dog? Down boy. Heart, Pat Benatar, Lynyrd Skynyrd? All good choices. Dolly Parton? Some of her stuff works well. Again, it’ up to the instructor to match the exercise to the tempo of the song. Hell, I only knew two of the songs Summer played last night, but her class was excellent. Anytime I can wring the sweat out of my shirt, it was a good class. (sorry for the image, but that girl is good at keeping you going)
Aaaannnyhow. That was a lot for having nothing to say, eh? Better get myself back to work.
The People You Meet . . .
Day 2153
Got to ride the bike in to work Wednesday. Didn’t have to schlep the work laptop with me and I have no after work commitments that can’t tolerate me being all nasty, hot & sweaty. With any luck, this situation will persist for the remainder of the week. I even went so far as to declare a goal for the near term on my Map My Ride profile (which I might share, except that I used my surname in my MMR username and I kinda hesitate to make that freely available data here on my bitch & whine pages) {/tangent}
Where was I? Oh yeah – goal. From the end of April 2010 to the end of September, I want to try and accumulate 1000 miles on my bike. After Wednesdays ride(s) I am at 511.8 miles. That’s been achieved in roughly 2.5 months, with about 2.5 months to go, so it seems that I am safely on track.
My cousin (-in-law, via two marriages and an adoption) has invited me to partake of the Tour of the Battenkill when we visit that part of the state for the umpteenth annual Baker/Ace/Waller family reunion July 30 – Aug 1. The race itself is held in April, so we’ll just be riding the course ourselves, for the fun and the challenge. That’s a ‘quick’ 62 mile trip through the foothills of the Adirondacks, crossing a tributary of the mighty Hudson several times in the process.
Right now, I have 20 miles in my legs, no problem. In 3 weeks, I have to convince them they can do 62 hilly miles. That means a 30ish mile ride this week, maybe a 40-ish mile ride early next week, 60+ miles the weekend of the 24th & 25th and a bit of tapering down that week. That’ll go a long ways towards helping reach that 1000 mile goal.
To put that in perspective a bit, on my way in to work Wednesday morning, I crossed paths with a fellow biker I had never met before. I had been following the Erie Canal bike path, headed north towards work. This fellow was on the path just a hair south of the Lyell Ave crossing, staring at his iPhone. He flagged me down, asking for a little assistance. Most cyclists are cool people that don’t mind lending a hand and watching out for each other so to perpetuate that particular mindset, I stopped and said “Sure, whaddya need?”
He asked “How far is the canal path paved to the east?” I confidently told him that it was paved for another 13 – 14 miles, till he reached the village of Pittsford, than it switched over to crushed rock & rock dust. “So I can make it to St. Rte. 31 on the other side of the city?” Again, I could confidently tell him, sure – get off the path at the Monroe Ave crossing, that’s Rt. 31. I’d ridden the path to Pittsford twice in the past and could also warn him about getting through Genesee Valley Park (a confluence of trails makes things confusing) and to watch out for stairs at one of the canal lock parks.
The fellow thanked me for the information. He added that he started out at 4am in Lockport, NY (very near Buffalo – it was 7:30am on the west side of Rochester at the time so he’d done 65ish miles in 3.5 hours) and he was headed for Utica (another 135ish miles east – the other side of Syracuse). With any luck, he’ll be there in time to grab a shower before dinner. I sure hope whomever he’s going to see knows how to do leg massages, because he’s going to really need it after a 200 mile day.
Sad part is I’ll never know how the rest of his trip went. I should have given him my email address so he could let me know.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the lead character on NCIS, believes there are no coincidences. I may be inclined to start believing him. At our Al Anon meeting Tuesday night the secretary/treasurer brought the literature order she’d picked up from the distribution center. With the order she received a sample copy of a pamphlet titled “Al-Anon Family Groups Welcomes Gays and Lesbians”.
That night, we welcomed another first timer. After hearing the new comer speak and describe the situation that brought them to Al Anon, I have no doubt that we were meant to have that copy of the pamphlet welcoming gay & lesbian persons. Weird how things work out.
In spite of my frustration & growing resentment with how things are progressing relationship wise (wanna see my list?), Janine continues to preach patience. For how long? As long as I am willing, apparently. The real challenge, and I will share this little tidbit with Annette (my very own 1 on 1 therapist) will be to find some way to channel this growing frustration & resentment in a healthy way and avoid falling into the “affection replacement therapy” trap. (That translates into calling Ms. CL and asking her how she’d feel about dinner, a movie and a few hours rolling in the sack. We always enjoyed that particular agenda, but I gotta think she’s moved on by now. Darn.)
Guess the eternal question is can I ever get that back with Cindy, with or without her truthfully addressing her drinking issues?
That’s bunch of bullshit, isn’t it? The truth is, if she keeps denying her drinking problem, the answer is no. The REAL question is how long am I willing to put up with her denial?
Not too long ago (before the hot tub was installed though), I told Cindy I feared that one I finished my duties as executor of her dad’s will and got his estate settled, she’d ask for a separation. I called her out on what I perceived to be a lack of commitment and she gave me the ‘how could you think that?’ response. Truth is, she has no idea how her behavior and attitudes effect people around her. Most times, she says she’s not even aware that her attitude IS sour. (Personally, I think that’s more denial. She effin well knows, just doesn’t like being called on it.)
Aaaaaannyhow. Estate will be settled in the next month or so. We shall see what we shall see. I do know one thing – no matter what, I am NOT leaving the house. Period.
Grrrrrrr. . . .
Day 2118
I’ll get to the Grrrrrr later.
Now. This started out as Dana doing Jay’s questions after Jay did Savannah’s “Questions” meme – a meme with a twist. This meme is constantly evolving – I answer the 10 questions that Dana posted and then post 10 questions of my own for anyone to answer on their blog or in comments. Dana & Jay asked some great questions – the whole idea looked kinda interesting so I’m going to torture you all with it.
Here’s Dana’s questions with my answers:
1. What were doing 10 years ago?
Running kids to hockey, working like a mad fool, re-did the kitchen, put in a master bath and re-did the other upstairs bath.
2. By this time next year, I …
Hope to still be employed.
3. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing?
Yes, I do. But we better hurry, I think I’m only good for another 35 years tops. (That’s an awful thought)
4. Which fictional, TV show character you would shag anytime?
Mary Shannon from “In Plain Sight”, Lisa Huddy on “House”, Det. Megan Wheeler on “L&O Criminal Intent” (Julianne Nicholson).
5. What is your greatest pet peeve?
Bad, rude or inconsiderate drivers. Lack of driving skills and considerateness are demonstrated by:
1 – no use of turn signals, yes – even for simple lane changes
2 – inability or unwillingness to drive the speed limit as a minimum
3 – doing merely the speed limit in the left lane of a multi-lane expressway. Those 15 cars stacked up behind you? Would like to get by. Move it the hell over.
4 – (My personal FAVORITE) pulling out in front of me then going 10 under the speed limit. It’s even worse if I’m the only vehicle on the road and you do it. It’s even worserer if I’m the only vehicle on the road, you do it (pull out in front of me & die), then take the next friggin turn off. Gah! Wish I had a gymbal mounted .50 cal on the roof!
6. Tell me about your most recent trip of more than 100 miles?
Heh. Drove 130 miles to an Al Anon meeting. Stayed overnight. Hung out with a bunch of folks that are trying to reclaim their lives after spending too much energy & effort on ‘fixing’ their alcoholic.
7. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
Now that spell checkers are ubiquitous, I use the thesaurus more. Unless Wikipedia somehow counts as a dictionary . . .
8. Do you have a nickname? What is it?
Two predominant ones. Bri is a gimme. Some folks use Rho, a truncation of my real live actual surname. A few select folks still use the name of a monster from a “C” grade Japanese sci-fi flick (think “Godzilla vs. Mothra”)
9. what are you dreading at the moment?
The reaction I might get from a little discussion I need to have tonight. Details follow.
10. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
If I did, I wouldn’t be providing my answers. I think what I think, I feel what I feel. These are opinions & experiences, neither of which can really be wrong. (Except for the roof mounted .50 cal. That might be wrong. Fun, but wrong.)
Now. My 10 questions.
1 – Where do you want to be 2, 5 and 10 years from now?
2 – Do you approve of or practice the use of corporal punishment for children? (I’m talking spanking here not caning or water boarding . . .)
3 – If you could make one positive change in a significant other (spouse, fiance, FWB, parent, child, other relative, etc), who it be and what would you change? (i.e. – you can’t make them dead to improve your own situation)
4 – Now perform that change on yourself. What’s it going to be? (Again, dead is NOT an option)
5 – In 10 words or less, what is it about differing religions that causes all this strife in the world?
6 – What is your ‘go to’ solution for stress reduction?
7 – What is your favorite cookie to make & eat? Care to share the recipe?
8 – Of all the vehicles you’ve owned, which were your most & least favorite?
9 – Are you a collector? If so, just what do you collect? Why?
10 – Missionary, doggie or reverse cowgirl? Something else maybe?
Should you decide to try this, please do let me know. I’d love to stop by and check out your answers. If there are enough requests, I might even provide answers to my own questions.
Know what I ‘Grrrrrrr’ about? I’ll tell you.
We got a call from the electrician that’s going to upgrade our electrical panel. They asked us to call back and set up an appointment for them to come back and do the panel change & meter move. Cindy asked me to call and get the appointment seeing as I was the one that’s going to be sitting at home while they do the work. She left their phone number on a slip of paper near the phone for me.
This morning as I was getting stuff put in my back pack for my ride in to work I didn’t grab that slip of paper. Cindy noticed. I got an email from her this morning – “Did you call the electrician?”
I had looked up their number in the interwebz, made the call, got an appointment and asked a bunch of questions. The gal I talked to didn’t have the answers, but was going to do a little digging and get back to me. (My questions were about coordinating with the local utility for the power changeover) I emailed Cindy that I got the appointment.
In the mean time, Cindy calls the electrician. Heather (the gal on the phone there) got the info she needed just prior to Cindy calling. Turns out my appointment will have to float based on the availability of the utility company. Big surprise there. So Cindy ok’s an appointment for Tues. Weds. or Thurs. depending on availability. Please to note that Cindy is NOT staying home to be available while all this is going on, I am.
Heather calls me back, says she just talked to me wife (imagine MY surprise!) and my appointment will be changing to T, W or Th. Internally, I am screaming. To Heather I just said Weds & Thurs were out, but I could do Tues or Fri. (yeah, those aren’t quite the same time options)
Cindy & I swap a few emails, the first from me asking simply “wtf are you doing? – I had an appointment set!” Eventually, we share enough information that I could ferret out the timeline I detailed above.
What hacks me off is that Cindy asked me to call the electricians since I was the one that would be staying home and I also understand the technical side of what they’re saying – then she calls them anyhow in what appears to me to be an effort to undo what I had already done after I told her I had already called.
Whether or not she saw my email saying I had an appointment prior to her calling them is moot. She asked me to call, LET ME DO IT.
We will be discussing this tonight, I promise.
And Another Thing!
Day 2099
Friday, in my ignorant non-recognition of Bike to Work Day, I drove to work. Upon exiting my housing tract and hitting the main drag, I immediately ran into a line of slow/stopped traffic. Not an unusual thing on a weekday morning as I live off a collector route that feeds folks in to the expressways.
I did think it unusual to see gobs of flashing red lights at the first intersection after my street though. Low speed, not a hugely busy intersection, it’s a 4 lane “t”ing in with a 2 lane residential street. But there were a ton of lights. I also saw firefighters out in the street. I figured they were working an accident, rare though they may be at that intersection.
But they weren’t. I saw orange cones set up, keeping people in their lanes. Thought maybe the State Troopers were involved too, doing tag inspections or some such. But all those ideas were blown to dust when I saw the boots. It was a flippin boot drop!
That is to say, the local fire department was set up on a state highway, restricting traffic slowing down everybody all so they could shove a boot in your window in hopes that you’d drop a dollar into it.
Our fire department is supported by our tax dollars. They have the finest equipment available. There are paid firefighters there so that whenever there is a call, there is someone available to respond and we aren’t totally dependant on volunteers. Buildings & equipment are supported via taxes, firefighter needs (food/coffee/water) while at lengthy calls, refreshments served during meetings, other creature comforts, are supported from the “2% fund”, a special levy taken from companies underwriting home owners insurance policies in New York. I was a FD treasurer for a few years back in the day, I know a thing or two about how these places are funded.
The FD I was in used to have fund raisers. Turkey shoots, carnivals, dinners, heck, even boot drops. We’d use that money to buy gear – bunker pants & coats, boots, dress uniforms for parades, general support of our parade squad – things like that. But we didn’t stop 4 lanes of traffic during a Friday morning rush hour and shove our boots in drivers faces trying to guilt them into dropping a buck in the boot.
I treated it like a trip through the ghetto. Didn’t roll down my window, didn’t make eye contact, didn’t even pretend to make a move for my wallet. It just irks me that an organization that is funded by tax dollars feels entitled enough to stop traffic on a state highway and beg for more money. At least they didn’t try to wash my windows with a fire hose.
I’ll be writing to the county fire chiefs association and that fire department about this too. My signing the letter might even have a 0.001% greater influence because my Dad was head of the County Chiefs organization back when I was still the treasurer for that other Fire Department 20 or so years ago.
I don’t mind that they are trying to drum up money for dress uniforms or rec room equipment. I DO mind that they’re doing it in the middle of a 4 lane road during morning rush hour. Road rage (my own included) is bad enough – why beg for more?
On a separate note, I’m at that Al Anon conference now, killing time between the conclusion of the business meeting and the start of dinner. Thought I’d take care of a little business, maybe do a little web surfing, but this hotels “hi-speed” internet access rivals a 56K dial up modem. That can’t be a product of me being in a town the size Owego, NY, can it?
Pretty area of the state, all hilly, not flat like at home. The Susquehanna river is right outside the hotel too. Might go take a peek tomorrow if the weather is decent.
Gotta go dress for dinner and head downstairs. Have a great weekend folks.
