Day 1995
What – again?
Day 1991
So Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday and now we’re blessed with 6 more weeks of winter. Seeing as I’m a couple 3 hundred miles north of Phil, 6 weeks seems like a good deal. But I have to wonder, what with all the cameras & lights & attention, how could he NOT see his shadow? I also thought groundhogs (or woodchucks as we call ‘em around here) hibernated through the winter. Wtf is he doing out & about in the middle of winter, waking up to take a pee break?
Had a another counseling session yesterday, but this one was a little different. Normally, after our counseling session, I have about an hour to get a bite to eat and head to me Al Anon meeting in the neighboring town. But last night, I had an Al Anon district type meeting on the opposite side of the city that was to start at the same time our session normally ends (with my 1/1 session with Janine). Wasn’t going to work. So this time we made arrangements to switch places. I got to start, couples was in the middle and Cindy wrapped things up.
It was interesting seeing the change in dynamic shuffling the status quo of the session caused. Personally, I liked it. I have found it difficult to come into the room for the couples portion after Cindy & Janine have been in there talking for 40 minutes or so. They’ve set the mood & tempo of the room, I have NO idea what they’re yammering on about, and I get to come in, sit down and try to make myself comfortable. It’s become a game for me to try and guess the subject of the day. I can brag and say I get it right better than half the time with no input from the XX chromosome units. (How’s that one saying go – it ain’t bragging if you can do it?)
Aaaaaannnyhow. I would compare the feeling I have walking into that room to being the visiting team at a sporting event. You KNOW you’re walking into someone else’s house and they have the advantage. Last night was different and Cindy was feeling it. Plus, she got into the ½ hour room late. She stayed out in the waiting area until Janine went out and got her. When I get to come in second, Janine has told me time and again, just come on back & knock on the door when it’s time. Cindy has heard this, she’s been there countless times when I’ve done it, yet when it’s her turn? One gets the impression she’d rather have not been there.
Since she was late, we only had 15 minutes or so of couples time. It wasn’t very productive. I brought up one incident that happened Sunday evening that highlighted a few common themes that we seem to constantly run into.
The themes?
1 – Simple requests I make are unfulfilled or blatantly ignored. That one’s on Cindy.
2 – I missed an opportunity (again) to ‘stay in the moment’ and gently confront Cindy about #1. Instead, I did some counter productive passive aggressive thing. That one’s on me.
Sunday has been trash night for 15 years. I got it.
Had a bit of a reality check with Janine too. I wanted to make sure the two of them weren’t laying back waiting on ME to make some sort of breakthrough. The good news is that that apparently is NOT the case. Bad news is Janine is starting to ask me how long I’m willing to wait. Sheesh.
Cindy emailed me today asking when would be good for us to talk about some things. Interesting. Makes me wonder what she and Janine talked about. Cindy used a very nice set up in asking for our little talk. Too bad it got wasted. I told her I’d be willing to have that little chat tonight. Somehow, that little chat didn’t happen. Hmmm. Maybe she’s finding out how difficult it can be to launch into one of these things. Well – at least for me.
Did some bowling tonight. Kind of a funny night. 1st game, only had 3 strikes, but they were well placed. No opens, nothing less than a 9 really. Ended up with a 203. Lefty? Beat me by 20. Second game started rough – big split. Got lined up, recovered, closed with 6 strikes in a row for a 228. Lefty? Beat me by 1. Last game, started out hotter than a house afire. Strike, spare then 5 in a row. Faded some at the end but still had a 220. Lefty? Beat me by 7. I bowled my ass off, he bowled his average. He really is an incredible bowler. Had a fun night, bowled a fun team. Ended up splitting the points so no one went home mad or beat up. And really, everybody bowled good tonight. Games were close which adds to the entertainment.
Well – off to bed for me. One more day at the salt mine and it’s weekend time. Wish I had some concrete plans.
It’s Complicated
Day something or another
In response to a recent request: From a man’s perspective, what did I think of the movie?
First, if you can catch it at a matinee or a discount theater, by all means go see it. Might not be worth first run, prime time dollars to watch.
Second, the premise, is conceivable, probably something similar has even happened in real life. Because of events in my own life, parts of this movie touched close to home. Didn’t grate on any raw nerves, but found the tender spots.
When I grow up, I want to be a divorcee in California planning a $200K renovation to my $1M+ home that paid for with my divorce proceedings and my income from a boutique bakery, while my progeny is attending Ivy League schools on the East Coast. (Was that Columbia or Fordham? – may not have been Ivy)
Not a bad film, definitely had some laugh out loud funny moments, had it’s share of touching moments, Streep was very good, Baldwin handled the comedy elements well, the story flowed along well.
Not a bad movie for a date, decent couples flick. I wonder if seeing this gets me a pass to “Avatar” or “Book of Eli” in the future?
Brrrrr
Went out to see “It’s Complicated”, then got dinner. Was 4 degrees when we left the house at 6pm. Cooled down to -5 by 10:30. Don’t want to know how low it goes.
Countdown to 2K
Day 1983 – 1985
Can’t be missing Day 2000. Still two weeks off, but I ought to plan an extravaganza for that entry. 2000 days smoke free. Whoda thunk it? (Wonder if my operating system will go balls up when the count rolls over?)
Having more than a little trouble concentrating today. Somewhat preoccupied with thoughts relating to our counseling session tonight and just how I want to handle it. Head first dive, or a dip of the toe first? The testing with the toe seems like a status quo move – leaves room for backing out if the mood isn’t conducive to getting things done.
On the other hand, I find myself grating my teeth at the thought that Cindy is somehow controlling the course of the counseling by dragging her feet, withholding information, basically utilizing her denial of her own situation and blame shifting to deflect everything (blame mostly) over to my side of the street.
In the interest of stirring the pot and getting things moving again, I ought to call her on it all. But Janine deserves a heads up first. Maybe, if the ladies take a pee break during the change in sessions, I can corner Janine and make my pitch. If not, I may have to just make a run at it anyhow and hope Janine catches on and keeps pace.
Of course, all of that angst is compounded by the fact that I have an appointment with a periodontist immediately prior to the counseling session. Unfortunately, to get to the periodontist I have to head south and east from work about 12 miles. The counselor? 15 miles due west of work. The time I’ll be travelling from one to the other? 5 – 5:30, smack dab in rush hour, and OF COURSE, the stretch of expressway I need to use to get from the tooth doctor to the head doctor will be a parking lot for a 3 or 4 mile stretch, open up for a few miles, then plug up again out at the western end. The surface roads aren’t much better. Between the river and the canal traffic is funneled onto several high use bridges which, in the end, isn’t any better than parking on the expressway.
Found a cool picture. First & foremost, it is of a naked woman, but isn’t pornographic. The image starts at a point safely south of her navel and highlights her torso & arms. The woman in the picture is heavily tattooed, but even if she wore a skimpy bikini, all of her artwork would show. Well here, let me show you:
Tattooed lady found at http://thewhoa.com
See? Not so bad. Now, as far as I know, getting tattoos is not without some small bit of pain. Not having one myself, I can’t say for sure just how much pain. Probably not like getting a skin graft or anything. Well even that didn’t hurt till the drugs wore off. That daily debriding of the wound was a sumbitch though.
Anyhow. What with all that girls tat’s, up & down the arms & legs, down the side of her breasts, along her ribs – some of that had to hurt. But how much did it hurt getting that tattoo through her armpit? That just seems like a particularly tender area. Shaving might be one thing, but 60 zillion little stabs with that needle? Even if it didn’t hurt, wouldn’t it tickle? Or worse – both? How do you DO that?
(For the record, I’m not a big fan of tattoos, but that gal looks REALLY interesting, luscious even)
Tempus Fugited (again)
Well, Tuesday’s session was interesting if not a little uncomfortable too. Started slowly, chatting about innocuous little things then we started to slide into some deeper ‘stuff’.
Let’s summarize by saying I had an errant behavior pointed out. Nothing egregious, just missed an opportunity to interpret that I was asked a question. The lack of an answer in my response was deemed ‘a bad thing’.
I pointed out that I’ve had some questions laying on the table, unanswered for 4 months. I also brought up a bit of a perceived double standard. Cindy’s poor behavior gets dismissed, explained away, negated, unacknowledged (by her), but if I exhibit the same behavior, I get raked over the coals (like Tuesday)
I can further summarize by adding that I have responses to my questions. Finally. But only responses, not necessarily answers.
Bowling tonight too. I need the stress relief.
Out of the Closet
Day 1982
I’ll declare it now. Saints fan. Always kinda liked them and after visiting the city last summer? How can I not root for them? Who Dat, indeed!
After spin class tonight, and after I shower, while I’m all buck nekkid (try not to let that image ruin your day) and ambling back to the lockers to dress, I shall stop by the official YMCA ‘Lying Bastard Scale” (hereafter known as the LBS) and actually take a measurement of the earth’s effects on my body’s mass. In other words, I’ll weigh myself. I will endeavor to consume my normal quart or so of water during class. No point in dehydrating myself to squeak out a pound or two. I will however, eschew the use of a towel to cover my manly bits. Those towels are really heavy after you dry yourself off!
Bottom line is I don’t like how my pants & shirts are fitting. After all that work to drop weight after quitting smoking, I’d hate to gain it all back. True enough, I’ve gained some back – hence the uncomfy fitting of the clothes.
Sources of this creeping waistland are few. My work out efforts are no where near what they were two & three years ago. Six hour-and-a-half sessions a week at the gym has trickled down to 3 or 4 spin classes a week. That’s down right paltry. Eating? Eating has been just as bad. I think we finally gave up and tossed the last of the Christmas noshes out. That’ll help. Might be time to resurrect the old food diary too.
Tempus Fugit . . .
Interesting spin class tonight. Usually, we go hard for a bit then back off , cycling our heart rates from down low (110-ish) to a pretty high (150-ish) and back again. Tonight though, we seemed to get our rates up high but never came all the way back down. We really seemed to hang in the mid range. Oddly enough, it didn’t suck too bad keeping that pace and pushing it a bit extra with the resistance. Might be getting my legs back!
Did the weigh in thing. Ugh. ‘nuff said. #^@$ LBS.
Weather report. 54 degrees on my way into work this morning. 34 degrees coming home from the gym. All the snow we had has melted except for the larger piles. But now? Snow expected for the next 7 days. Not constant! But as is more typical for this area, we’ll see some accumulations every day for the foreseeable future. There ARE two more months of winter still coming. I’d really like to get some more miles in on those snow shoes too.
Unsettling afternoon Sunday too. Makes me want to push harder on some of those points I made last time. Dammit.
Third Times a Charm
Day 1978 1979 1980
Dang! Missed day 1977 (& 1978 & 1979 it appears). It had a teensy bit of significance. 1977 was the year I (brace yourselves) graduated from high school. Of course, by then I was already unofficially a smoker, well on my way to firmly entrenching all the aspects of smoking as habits.
But that’s all over now, as of 1979 days ago, coincidentally the year after my Jehovah’s Witness brother graduated. Yeah, my parents really packed in the first 3 of us. Three kids in 4 years, then they took a little 5 year hiatus before lucky #4 came along. All boys. Poor Mom.
That wasn’t even the point I was here to make today though. The point I wanted to make was that dueling therapists are both very entertaining AND kinda dangerous. Not sure which one to be more concerned with at the moment.
In a nutshell, Annette, my original 1 on 1 therapist and the first one we tried couples counseling with, is all into looking out for what is best for me. Since she knows Cindy a little, and she is familiar with addition therapy & alcoholism, Annette is really disappointed with the amount of progress Cindy has made in accepting her situation and taking responsibility for her actions. She is advising me to push, push, push for Cindy to start stepping up.
Janine, our current couples counselor and Cindy’s only 1 on 1 therapist, is taking a more cautious tack. Doing the 1 on 1 work, she is seeing signs of progress with Cindy. Janine says that Cindy is starting to relax more and open up in their 1 on 1’s. For that reason, Janine doesn’t want to push things too hard for fear of losing what progress has been made.
I have the ignominious privilege of seeing too many sides to this one. I understand both counselors points, and I also want what both counselors see as the end result. (uhhhh, that’d be a stronger relationship where we both live in the moment, trust each other implicitly and are willing to be completely vulnerable for the other) (or something approaching that)
Talking with Annette this week, I made the analogy that Janine says the glacier is starting to move. Annette countered with “is the glacier moving because it’s melting, or is it just getting bigger?” It is an excellent point, and it is not a subtle difference.
I think maybe the way for me to approach this would be to be more assertive in couples session. Insist that my 4 (or 6, what ever) unanswered questions get addressed. Stop letting Cindy drag her feet and determine the pace of change. I need to be a rabble rouser, stirring the pot a bunch to show that I’m less than pleased with the rate of progress.
I’ll kick & fuss, apply the pressure while trying to not break the trust Cindy is building in Janine. Then Janine gets to work with Cindy on the issues I kick & fuss about. Those issue are my unanswered questions mostly, as they really get to the root of what I need to know before trust can be granted again.
On to lighter fare.
Bowling Thursday went ok. Did better than average, but just barely. Team wise, we took it on the chin the first game (we sucked hard), came back to barely win the second and won the third by not quite enough to take totals.
Tonight (that being Saturday) one of the local colleges drama departments is putting on the show Annie. Zach & Jill mentioned it earlier in the week and we figured why not? I thin this will be Zach’s first musical of any sort. Cindy & I saw a professional version of Annie a couple of years ago, but it’ll be interesting to see the local talent perform. That means I gotta go shave & change before we head out.
Later folks.
Dream Weaver
Day 1976
Phew. That last post was longer than I thought. Time to move it down a notch.
Had a weird dream last night/this morning. I want to record the fragments of it I still recall for several reasons:
1 – I don’t usually have very memorable dreams
2 – This one is new, not one of my usual themes
3 – In couples sessions, dreams have recently been brought up (by Cindy) and Janine has asked us to try to keep a dream journal to use for some sort of interpretation.
These are fragments, like I said. The clearest memory I have is of me being some sort of human battering ram that (get this!) could fly. I have visions of flying down from a high altitude and colliding head to head with another person. They disappear in a cloud of dust while I loop back up to look for more (I guess). I also have a vision of flying along like a cruise missile, crashing into something and obliterating it. When the dream was happening, I think I knew who/what I was bashing in to, but now, half a day later, I can’t recall. Seems that there was someone I was talking to as I was doing it too. I remember some sort of dialog. Talking to the bad guys?
Ok – that’s done. Think I’ll write this down in a paper journal too, something I can take in to sessions and share.
There’s another really weird dream I used to have as a kid, mostly whenever I had a fever. It was something about feeling like a greyhound, racing along a smooth, sandy desert for miles, then finally coming to a stop at someplace that resembled an empty used car lot, with the light bulbs dangling off wires strung between poles. I could so clearly remember the sensation of running on the smooth, firm sand. Since I was like 8 or 10 the last time I had this particular dream, I probably won’t bring it up in session.
The other dreams I can remember usually end up with the phone ringing, me falling off a cliff or very high roof, or are conversations with people that are long gone (hi dad! Hi Gram! Hi Maerian!) (Yes, I spelled Maerian right. You DO NOT misspell your mother-in-laws name more than once and live!)
Oh – sessions are news themselves. Or lack of. Due to her kids lacrosse Janine won’t be able to have our usual Tuesday evening session this week. Was going to hit up the Y and do a spin class tonight, but last nights class is still lingering on my quads and glutes. Not hurty – just an awareness.
Anyhow. Since I didn’t do my 10 minute round up last night, I’ll be a brave soul and do it tonight between dinner and our respective meetings. Not during dinner though. Bad for the digestion maybe.
Since thanks giving I’ve been much better about getting to the gym. Good thing too since I ate every Christmas cookie I laid an eye on. That just exacerbated the need to get serious about eating right again. So with better eating and more exercise, I aim to head back to where I was 2 – 2.5 years ago. If after a month I find that there’s no progress, I will have to break down and start tracking every stinking morsel that enters my mouth. My head knows what I need calorically, I just have to have that very real reminder of what I’ve consumed so far that day and remember that a night time snack of an orange or apple is much better than even a half PB & honey with a glass of skim milk. Need to resume the weights too, but I have to start doing mornings at the gym again for that. Somehow, I want to work in evening spin classes with Cindy, morning runs with weights but still leave rest time in between. I’d love to do the Wednesday & Friday morning spin classes (with Patty the Energizer Bunny and Gary the Sadistic Bastard) because they are MUCH more aggressive than Cherie’s evening class. True, last night Cherie gave us a good one, but I’m feeling myself starting to need more.
Honestly, I have my eyes on the Tour de Cure again this year. Knowing I was going to miss last years ride kind of started me on my slide. It helps to have that goal hanging out there, knowing that yes, I’ve done the century ride twice before and I know what it takes to prepare. Now is not too early to start. Maybe I can find a good deal on a new to me bike by then too. I’d love a real road bike instead of the hybrid thing I’m riding now. Eventually.
Quick hitter (for me) tonight. Time to fly.
Wasting a Weekend
Day 1972
Soylent Green is People!
It’s not that far off! Didja catch <a href=”http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100115/ap_on_sc/eu_med_petri_pork”> <b>this</b></a>?
Now, centimeter long strands of “meat” grown from porcine stem cells isn’t quite Soylent Green. There’s apparently also a little problem with protein content, and none of the goobers that are making this stuff has actually fried any up and tasted it yet. But if pig stem cells can be coerced into growing into a meat product, who’s to say it has to stop with pigs? Who’s to say it will?
Sure, it could become a very resource efficient way of creating protein. But, could we all be certain of the source of each and every one of the stem cells used to grow this stuff? Pig? Ok. Chicken, cow, fish? All fine. But how would you really know? What if it all ends up tasting like chicken? I hesitate to add this, but how would you know if the supplier dipped into stem cells from human umbilical cords? Right now we’re concerned with getting ground up bits of sheep brain into the cattle feed and causing BSE & Mad Cow disease. But what if human DNA got into the stem cell growth farms? I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
On to brighter things. Like the temps around here. Mother nature is trying to fool us into thinking Spring is coming. I think it was 37 this morning as I headed in to work. Last night, as I was trying to concentrate on the new CSI episode, I kept hearing this thumping, banging, crashing kind of noises coming from the front of the house. Well, the way our house is built, the roofline of the garage carries across the entire front of the house, providing both a small porch near the driveway & front door, but also a nice 4’ deep overhang past the front door all the way to the side of the house. (I have a picture somewhere, I’ll dig it up & post it)
ANYHOW. Icicles that had formed on the second story gutter were melting. Eventually, what ever was holding them onto the gutter gave way, and they were falling off the gutter, crashing into the first floor roof overhang and making quite the racket. I eventually went outside (in my stocking feet) and poked my head out far enough to see past the first story gutter up to the second floor. Unfortunately, I was only able to confirm that the worst of the crashing was over as all I could see still hanging from the gutter were icicles no bigger than a baby carrot. I am sure that there were much more substantial stalactites hanging from the gutters earlier, although seeing as how it’s dark when I leave the house and darker when I return, I’m sure I haven’t actually seen them up close & personal.
But at least it’s going to be warm for a few days. Might have to divert the fish pond plumbing finally. Although I do have to wonder why. We got down to 5 degrees a couple of nights and endured a 2 week stretch of never going above freezing and I saw a path of open water near the falls the whole time. My test was to open the slider to the porch, stick my head out and see if I could hear gurgling water. I did, every time. It IS possible that some of the gurgling was a pop can exploding in the fridge, but at least is was moving fluid.
(If it was summer, we’d have heard crickets chirping here . . .)
Monday morning now.
What a lazy weekend. Did the gym Saturday morning, tried to stop by an instant oil change place to get the oil in my trucked changed, but everybody else had the same idea. There was absolutely no place to park. So? Got the stuff to do it myself. Probably saved $10. Got home, putzed around a bit, made up a meal list and did some grocery shopping. Got home again, scraped at the ice on the driveway for a bit, decided it was still too firmly welded to the blacktop. Really, I was killing time waiting for the truck to cool so I could do the oil.
Then the football started, just as Cindy was leaving to chaperone a pair of basketball games at school. An ideal set up for getting absolutely nothing done. But! Half time of the first game I went out and did my oil change. When I got back in the house, everything I was wearing as I was crawling around in the garage floor got tossed in the wash and I headed up stairs to get my flannels on. Then the stage was set for doing absolutely nothing the rest of the day. Not even an entry here. But I did learn how to do an email entry. Maybe. If you’re seeing this, it worked.
By Sunday, it had been warm enough for long enough that I attempted scraping the packed snow & ice off the driveway, again. That effort was mostly successful. Got brave and pulled the car & truck out & gave them a bath. Washed off all the road salt & sand & grime and good lord they were filthy. (Yes, I use a bucket of warm water for the sudsy, scrubby part.)
Also completed the last phases of de-Christmas-izing the house. All the miniature houses up on the cabinets, mantle and hutches (all 20 of them) were all pulled down, packed up and put back into storage for another 10 months. I like how Cindy takes Credit for accomplishing this, when in fact, I bring all the boxes up from the basement, I pull down each and every one of the houses and all the extension cords, I pack 1/3 to ½ of the houses in their original packaging, and I take each and every packed box (all 20 of them, moving 3 – 5 at a time) back downstairs to gather dust. I don’t get why that count as an accomplishment for Cindy.
Oh! Also got to get out a ladder, climb up on the roof and pull down all the icicle lights. That’s always a treat. At least this year the majority of the roof where I had to walk was snow free.
Went out and played with the pond too. Busted off the big hunk of ice that had built up over the face of the falls. The water was still flowing behind the ice, we just couldn’t see or hear it. Hearing it is a key element in determining that the pump is in fact still running. Heard the pump getting all gurgly which is what got me out there to begin with. Had a skimmer basket full of leaves choking off the water flow. Easy fix. Kinda surprised too. Thought I got 99.9% of the leaves out of the pond. Must have had some blow in before the snow sealed it off. Did see 3 fish through a hole in the ice too. Always a good sign.
Hmmm. How lazy WAS that weekend? Seemed to have gotten lots done, but it still felt like a very low energy couple of days. Very odd. Maybe it’s because I got very little done that was on MY list?
In couples therapy news, we’re supposed to be doing this little 10 minute round-up every evening. Just a quick little ‘I felt this way about that, felt that way about the other, and didn’t feel at all about this thing’. I asked that we try to keep it to one positive thing, one ‘constructive criticism’ thing and one thing about the relationship, positive or negative. We’re supposed to alternate being ‘hosts’. So far, in 2 weeks, we’ve done it twice. Pretty stellar performance, eh?
But I have an excellent thing to review tonight. Saturday afternoon, we were coming up with a meal plan for the week. Had quite a few meals decided. Sat – Barley vegetable soup (yum!), Sun – Chinese Spaghetti & meatballs (yum again!), Mon – a Lamb shanks stew in the crock pot, Tues – hmmm, I forget, but this is where things get interesting. Cindy has this habit/trait of being very wishy-washy. She’ll commit to one thing then change her mind and not bother updating affected people. She’ll also take forever to decide upon an action, then second guess herself till the cows come home. Me? Quite the opposite. We talked, we decided, we agreed, it’s etched in stone. It would take the severing of a limb (or at least a pinky) to get me to change.
So. We’re all the way up to Tuesday, knowing that Thursday & Friday will be left overs nights. We’re trying to come up with something for Tuesday. Cindy started with “Well, Monday I could . . .” and I cut her off, curtly reminding her that Monday was decided. That was apparently a mistake. It took a good 10 or 15 minutes to talk her BACK into finishing the meal plan. She insisted that it wasn’t worth even continuing if I was going to cut her off and not even listen to what she was saying.
I don’t know what I said, but it had nothing to do with the frustration I normally feel when she gets into these wishy-washy, second guessing moods. I did a pre-emptive strike, resisting any change to what had been decided. What Cindy was offering (I later learned) was that she take advantage of MLK day (Monday) and use it to get something prepared for Tuesday’s dinner. It’s all in the set-up. Had she started “for Tuesday I could . . .) rather than how she had, it might have turned out different. I was focused on Tuesday. Even saying the word Monday led me to believe that she was going to re-arrange the incomplete menu already. Not that it would have ended the world or anything, but dammit – commit and stick! That won’t end the world either.
Time to try out this post by email dealie . . .
Thursday Thirteen
Day 1971
Saw this idea over at Dana’s and thought I’d copy.
~Thirteen things I’d like to do but will likely let some irrational fear keep me from accomplishing~
1 – Sing. Church Choir, Barbershop, something. I was in choir all through my school years and still kinda miss it. I’ll never be on American Idol (too old, and I KNOW I’m not that good), but it is fun, and I CAN actually hit a note.
2 – Quit my job and go back too school to get a degree in forestry management or some other environmental field. I only half joked at a performance appraisal 15 years ago (while in company paid for nite school to become an electrical engineer) that I REALLY wanted to be a forest ranger.
3 – Run a marathon
4 – Ride my bike on a lap around each of the Great Lakes. Lake Ontario (the one 10 miles north of my house) is one of the smaller Great Lakes. A lap here is ‘only’ 600 miles and includes a nice stretch in Canada.
5 – For that matter – do my mouth to source ride up the Genesee River. Only 127 miles one way.
6 – Quit my job, get a CDL and drive big rigs across the country. Right now, I still enjoy long trips. That could change if it became a job though . . .
7 – Part of me still wants to sit Cindy down and tell her she’s in denial and fooling herself if she thinks she can safely return to a life of ‘normal social drinking’. My irrational fear here doesn’t actually exist – it is a very real, rational fear. Respect for the counselors grand plan is what’s keeping my trap shut. For now.
8 – Tell my boss what I actually think of his management style. (Actually, this trait is rampant here). When you tell me you want me to “own” a process, problem or project – I can not REALLY own it until YOU let go of it. I will not engage in a public battle of wills. If you want me to have it – let go. My irrational fear here? Continued employment. Crazy, I know.
9 - Thirteen of these things? Gah!
9a – I’d like to get Cindy to be a little less (ok – a lot less) conservative behind closed doors. She thinks she talks a good game, but when the rubber hits the road – so does her libido. Had a partner once with different limits. Good lord it was fun.
10 – Take a summer or two and become a ““46er” – climb all 46 (there’s actually 43) Adirondack peaks that are over 4000 ft tall. After black fly season please.
11 – Sky dive solo
12 – Fly a plane, solo (but not jump out of that one) (Can there BE an irrational fear for #’s 12 & 13?)
13 – Purge and try to minimize. I am way too attached to material things.
Whew! That was harder than I thought.
Wish I could remember what the heck else I was thinking. Maybe nothing. I have put up 3 posts so far this week, I might just be low on material.
Ok – bowling’s over now. Youngest brother’s been sick, he ended up not bowling so Zach subbed. Team took it tough tonight, only managed to take 2 points. I can claim it wasn’t my fault. I had one not so great game where I missed my average by 15, but two other games where I bested my average by 30 & 35. Overall – 595 for the night. I’ll take it.
Hmmmm. Just heard an ad – New Yorks Mega Millions Jackpot is now 70 million. Might have to get a couple tickets. Lump sum, less taxes that’s gotta net what, 20 million? I could live on that. Maybe I’d quit work, get a CDL and go visit blog buddies. While delivering east coast micro-brews to deserving communities across the country. And white hot dogs. You people don’t know what you’re missing. Better hope I win!
